All Joba, All the Time

Just now, with Kyle Farnsworth blowing the Yankees/Twins game, and Edwar Ramirez warming in the bullpen, the ESPN play-by-play guy actually said, "Edwar Ramirez, with that great change-up, but perhaps too young and inexperienced for that 8th-inning role." This after the announcers had argued in favor of Joba Chamberlain keeping that role for the past ten minutes.

Joba Chamberlain - 22 years old, 47.2 major league innings pitched.
Edwar Ramirez - 27 years old, 37 major league innings pitched.

For the record, a list of people I would rather have pitching the 8th inning of a close game than Kyle Farnsworth:

Edwar Ramirez
Chris Britton
Jose Veras
Scott Patterson
J.B. Cox
Darrell Rasner
David Robertson
Jeff Nelson (present-day)
Wade Boggs
Sparky Lyle (present-day)
Joe Niekro (present-day)
R.E.M. bassist Mike Mills
Bo Jackson
Hume Cronyn

And a list of people who I would not prefer to see instead of Kyle Farnsworth in the 8th inning of a close game:

Latroy Hawkins
Joba Chamberlain

An IQ Test for Yankees Fans and Other Sporting Types

1. Should Joba Chamberlain move into the starting rotation?

A. Yes
B. Heck no, he's great in the 8th inning. And who else would fill that role??

If you want to know whether someone has the ability to use logic and reason, and has any remote understanding of the game of baseball, ask them the above question. If they answer A, be relieved. You are talking to a sentient human being. If they answer B, you might want to run away. They might be a wild animal, and/or they probably voted twice for George W. Bush.

Peter Abraham has a simple explanation for why A is the correct answer. Starting pitchers are more important than relief pitchers. The vast majority of relief pitchers are in that role because they failed at starting pitching at some level, or because management believed they would fail at starting pitching. Joba Chamberlain is exceedingly likely to succeed at starting pitching. Therefore...

Come on, monkeys, keep up.

Defending Joba's God-Given Right to Fist-Pump

Dear Goose Gossage,

I'm sorry I supported your election to the Hall of Fame for so many years. I didn't realize you were a huge douchebag.

Love,

PF

Demote Joba

Boooooooo! Boooooooooooooooooo!

You suck, Joba! Hey Joba! Joba! You suck!!

Over-rated (clap clap, clap clap clap)

He Bleeds Like the Rest of Us!

For the first time in his Major League career, Joba Chamberlain yielded a run. Babies across the five boroughs won't stop crying, though neither they, nor their parents, understand why. The memorial at Ground Zero is just a little more depressing today. The Yankees' road grays are even grayer.

And whose fault is it? That worthless bum, Alex Rodriguez. I KNEW he couldn't perform under pressure.

I'm Talkin' Willie, Joba and the Youk

For the record, I was incredibly close on the Post headline. They went with "Yankees Hit Sweep Spot." Right pun, wrong usage. Oh well, get 'em next time, champ.

Again for the record, I can't profess to know whether or not Joba Chamberlain was throwing at Kevin Youkilis. Given the control he's exhibited thus far, it seems extremely unlikely that two consecutive pitches would "slip" and end up a foot over Redbeard's head. But Joba did act shocked that he was being thrown out, and I doubt he's that good an actor.

Someone seems to have given Joba a checklist of ways to ingratiate himself with Yankees fans. Fix a decaying bullpen? Check. Dominate the American League with ridiculous sliders? Check. Reignite the Yanks/Sox rivalry by throwing at the head of one of Boston's most despicable players? Double check.

Whatever Joba's intent, the Yankees/Red Sox series in Fenway in a couple weeks now promises to be a circus of Clemens/Piazza proportions, especially if the Yankees can manage to gain a couple more games on them by then.

For their part, the Red Sox reacted like a bunch of juvenile hypocrites, conveniently forgetting how many Yankees have drilled by Boston's thugs over the past few years. They are shocked and outraged that someone would dare throw up and in in a game of baseball! Kevin Youkilis continued to play the part of a bad guy wrestler perfectly, giving his big, angry, post-match speech in the ring. He and Francona gave quotes that can only be described as vaguely threatening:

"If that young man is trying to get our attention, he did a very good job," Francona said.

"It will be interesting to see how that series plays out," Youkilis said.

It's better than even money that Josh Beckett will drill someone in Fenway in September. And if Roger Clemens pitches in that series, things will almost certainly escalate.

Honestly, I think this is a distraction the Yankees don't need right now. The Red Sox were on their heels; there was no reason to poke them with a stick. If Joba threw at Youkilis, I wish he would have thought twice before taking on that responsibility in his 12th big-league inning.

Wait...What?

Joba Chamberlain has been thrown out of the game for throwing two pitches high and tight to Kevin "Franchise" Youkilis. No warning was issued.

I can't see the game, thanks to the idiot schedulers, but John Sterling is suitably outraged. It seems asinine to me.

Maybe even Joba knew what an idiot Joe Torre was being, and decided to take himself out of the game so he can pitch Saturday.

Meanwhile, if Edwar Ramirez allows Youkilis to score, the run will be charged to Joba, ending his scoreless streak.

Fire Joe Torre This Second

Brian Cashman needs to make his way down to the Yankees dugout right now, before this game is over, and relieve Joe Torre of his duties. Don Mattingly can slide over from his seat on the bench, Joe Girardi can come down from the broadcast booth, Freddy Sez can take over. I don't care, but Torre needs to vacate the premises.

With a 5-0 lead in the ninth against the Red Sox, Torre sent Joba Chamberlain out for a second inning of work. Under the looming presence of the Joba Rules, Chamberlain now can't pitch again until Sunday. Torre apparently does not believe that one pitcher in his bullpen, other than Joba and Rivera, can record three outs before giving up five runs. Chris Britton and Edwar Ramirez should quit now, because they're not ever going to be used or trusted under this dark regime.

This is a ludicrous decision that puts the Yankees at a disadvantage this weekend. And in a tight Wild Card race, this team needs every advantage it can muster.

You Disappoint Me, Justin

Per Peter Abraham, Joba Chamberlain is getting his own entrance music at Yankee Stadium, which seems strange. I can't think of another non-closer in baseball history who had his own music. Certainly not Mariano Rivera in '96. And I know the kid seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders, and he seems like the real deal, talent-wise, but this certainly seems like a case of too much, too soon. Joba has pitched ten innings in the major leagues. Ten! It's fun to see the crowd go nuts when he comes in, sure, and the right song would certainly add to the moment, but this is a 21-year-old who might not even be eligible to win the Rooke of the Year until 2008.

More disturbing, though, is Joba's choice of entrance song: "Indian Outlaw," by Tim McGraw.

Umm....jigga what?

Leaving aside the social, cultural and political implications of a Native American entering to a song with lyrics like "You can find me in my wigwam/I'll be beatin' on my tom-tom/Pull out the pipe and smoke you some/Hey and pass it around," while 55,000 (mostly) white people cheer, the more important issue is that it's just a horrible song.

Pitchers become equated with the song to which they enter. Think of Rivera and "Enter Sandman," Trevor Hoffman and "Hell's Bells" or Mitch Williams (or Rick Vaughn) and "Wild Thing." I don't want this potential cornerstone of the Yankees franchise to be associated with Tim McGraw in any way. There's no accounting for the taste of near-teenagers from Nebraska, I guess, but come on!

Joba can do better, and Psycho Fan Incorporated is here to help. Some songs Joba should enter to, that would be eighty million times better than that redneck country song:

No Sleep Till Brooklyn/Beastie Boys
Badlands/Bruce Springsteen
Mother (live version only)/Danzig
I'm Shipping up to Boston/Dropkick Murphys (the irony would be delicious)
Phenomenon/LL Cool J
Right Next Door to Hell/Guns N' Roses
Big Poppa/Notorious B.I.G.
Last Exit/Pearl Jam
Glory of Love/Peter Cetera (wait, what?)
Another One Bites the Dust/Queen
Bulls on Parade/Rage Against the Machine

See how easy this is?

My Heart Rate's Still Not Normal the Next Morning

As the Yankees began a 20-game stretch that will help us all better understand how good they actually are, rookies Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain shut down the A.L. Central-leading Indians for 8 innings in guiding the Yanks to an impressive 6-1 win.

Despite hitting into a seemingly endless number of rally-killing double-plays against Fausto Carmona, the offense did its part, led by Alex Rodriguez's 501st home run. Robinson Cano and...

Fuck it, who am I kidding?

Last night was all about Phil and Joba, Joba and Phil. Two 21-year-olds who hold the Yankees' present and future in their inexperienced hands. Watching Hughes pitch, you already feel like you're in the hands of a master, a guy who knows how to harness his stuff and get outs even when his control isn't all there. And Joba? My God. He looks physically like a young Roger Clemens, but throws even harder.

Seeing these two in the same game was like watching a young Jack Bauer and Tony Almeida partnering for the first time. The only problem is, I'm not sure which one is Jack anymore.

Don't love the pitching matchup today, and I'm worried that the humidity in Cleveland may be about 5-7% too high for the finicky cat, Mike Mussina. Also, I've heard the hotel the Yankees are staying in doesn't scramble Moose's eggs just the way he like them. Could be trouble.

The Yankees do catch a break, though, as Travis Hafner will likely miss the entire series with a knee injury. Good thing, too, because it's important for the Yankees to take two out of three this weekend, since Seattle is facing the dreary White Sox and Detroit plays Tampa Bay.

By the way, if Joe Torre hadn't been suspended for last night's game, what are the chances that Joba would have stayed on the bench, while more sturdy, experienced veterans like Jim Brower and Farnsie coughed the game up? Even seeing the clueless one sitting in the stands made me nervous: What if he was sending secret text messages to Mattingly?

Joba Needs a Refill

Looks like phenom Joba Chamberlain is finally getting the call.

We can only say a silent, hopeful prayer that this means the end of Kyle Farnsworth is nigh. Because I don't think Jim Brower's going to accomplish that.

Also, it's going to be hard getting used to rooting for someone who looks this goofy.


Me-ow.