Thursday, August 30, 2007

You Disappoint Me, Justin

Per Peter Abraham, Joba Chamberlain is getting his own entrance music at Yankee Stadium, which seems strange. I can't think of another non-closer in baseball history who had his own music. Certainly not Mariano Rivera in '96. And I know the kid seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders, and he seems like the real deal, talent-wise, but this certainly seems like a case of too much, too soon. Joba has pitched ten innings in the major leagues. Ten! It's fun to see the crowd go nuts when he comes in, sure, and the right song would certainly add to the moment, but this is a 21-year-old who might not even be eligible to win the Rooke of the Year until 2008.

More disturbing, though, is Joba's choice of entrance song: "Indian Outlaw," by Tim McGraw.

Umm....jigga what?

Leaving aside the social, cultural and political implications of a Native American entering to a song with lyrics like "You can find me in my wigwam/I'll be beatin' on my tom-tom/Pull out the pipe and smoke you some/Hey and pass it around," while 55,000 (mostly) white people cheer, the more important issue is that it's just a horrible song.

Pitchers become equated with the song to which they enter. Think of Rivera and "Enter Sandman," Trevor Hoffman and "Hell's Bells" or Mitch Williams (or Rick Vaughn) and "Wild Thing." I don't want this potential cornerstone of the Yankees franchise to be associated with Tim McGraw in any way. There's no accounting for the taste of near-teenagers from Nebraska, I guess, but come on!

Joba can do better, and Psycho Fan Incorporated is here to help. Some songs Joba should enter to, that would be eighty million times better than that redneck country song:

No Sleep Till Brooklyn/Beastie Boys
Badlands/Bruce Springsteen
Mother (live version only)/Danzig
I'm Shipping up to Boston/Dropkick Murphys (the irony would be delicious)
Phenomenon/LL Cool J
Right Next Door to Hell/Guns N' Roses
Big Poppa/Notorious B.I.G.
Last Exit/Pearl Jam
Glory of Love/Peter Cetera (wait, what?)
Another One Bites the Dust/Queen
Bulls on Parade/Rage Against the Machine

See how easy this is?