The Yankees lost 3-2 to the Blue Jays this afternoon, scraping together an anemic five hits against a Jays staff led by the immortal Dustin McGowan.
A pathetic, uninspired performance all around, but if only there were a simple way the Yankees could have added a little more offense today...
Hmmm...
What was it about today's lineup that seemed extra awful?
This is a tough one. What was different today that could be easily changed?
Wait! I know!
In a tight, one-run game, you usually don't want a rotting corpse catching and batting ninth! What do I win!?
I knew that formaldehyde smell was coming from somewhere.
Showing posts with label rotting corpse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rotting corpse. Show all posts
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
My Kingdom for a Backup Catcher
The Cubs acquired Jason Kendall earlier this week to replace the insane Michael Barrett (I think it was the ruptured testicle that drove him over the edge). The deal was essentially a contract dump for Oakland, and they didn't get much back from the Cubs.
Jason Kendall is so far past his prime he doesn't remember it through the haze of senility drugs and oatmeal. In his age 33 season, Kendall has moved past his decline phase and segued rapidly into a full-on collapse. He's hitting .226/.261/.281, with an astoundingly bad OPS+ of 46. He is a below-average baseball player. He's bitterly jealous of the sub-mediocre.
And the Yankees still should have traded for him.
Why?
Because they currently have a rotting corpse backing up Jorge Posada, and any living, breathing human being can only be considered an upgrade. Wil Nieves's numbers so far this year? .132/.164/.151, and an OPS+ of -14.
That's negative 14.
Oh, and he can't throw anybody out, "gunning" down only 20 percent of would-be base-stealers.
I am not kidding about the rotting corpse thing. This position, along with the Farnsworth debacle and the first-base morass, have absolutely embarrassed Brian Cashman and the Yankees' brain trust this year.
Jason Kendall is so far past his prime he doesn't remember it through the haze of senility drugs and oatmeal. In his age 33 season, Kendall has moved past his decline phase and segued rapidly into a full-on collapse. He's hitting .226/.261/.281, with an astoundingly bad OPS+ of 46. He is a below-average baseball player. He's bitterly jealous of the sub-mediocre.
And the Yankees still should have traded for him.
Why?
Because they currently have a rotting corpse backing up Jorge Posada, and any living, breathing human being can only be considered an upgrade. Wil Nieves's numbers so far this year? .132/.164/.151, and an OPS+ of -14.
That's negative 14.
Oh, and he can't throw anybody out, "gunning" down only 20 percent of would-be base-stealers.
I am not kidding about the rotting corpse thing. This position, along with the Farnsworth debacle and the first-base morass, have absolutely embarrassed Brian Cashman and the Yankees' brain trust this year.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
The 2008 New York Yankees
If you believe, as I do, that the Yankees have little to no hope of making the playoffs this year, then it's time to focus on improving the team for next year and beyond. Baseball Prospectus's PECOTA-adjusted playoff odds give the Yankees a 20 percent chance of getting in to the dance either as a division winner or (more likely) Wild Card. With all due respect to Mr. PECOTA, I think that's a little on the high side.
The Red Sox aren't collapsing — their starting pitching is too strong and consistent, the back end of their bullpen is phenomenal, and they don't have the gaping wounds in their collective psyche that would have haunted them before 2004.
The Tigers and Indians both look strong too, and unlikely to let an 8.5-game lead slip away. The Tigers are much better than they were last year, with Sheffield and a resurrected Magglio Ordonez mashing, and Jeremy Bonderman and Justin Verlander holding strong as the tentpoles of the rotation. Cleveland has a solid roster top-to-bottom, led by unheralded (if crooked-capped) ace C.C. Sabathia. Their two best hitters, Hafner and Sizemore, underperformed in the first half, if anything. The starting pitching is a bit suspect after Sabathia, and Sweaty Joe Borowski (and his 5.35 ERA) is one of the worst closers in baseball, but this is still too good a team to lose a big second-half lead. I hope I'm wrong. But I'm not.
Meanwhile, our tortured antiheroes, the Yankees themselves, prepare to mount a late surge to push back the insurgents and take the land that's rightfully theirs. Sadly, many of the problems that plagued them in the first half won't magically disappear because we want them to:
-Mike Mussina, Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens are all nearing the end of their careers, and all are capable of solid-to-great performances. But old pitchers and consistency don't go hand-in-hand.
-Phil Hughes can't be relied on to stay healthy, despite recent encouraging developments.
-Even with the Erubiel Durazo signing, the Yanks are shaky at best at the cold corner. Durazo hasn't slugged above .406 at any level since 2004, and Miguel Cairo and Andy Phillips are still in the picture. It's an ugly fucking picture.
-Johnny Damon's body is being used as a host by Bernie William's vengeful spirit. This has caused Damon, and his pain-addled carcass, to post the following OPS's by month this season: .678, .777, .619, .584.
-I'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but a rotting corpse is currently backing up Jorge Posada.
-The bullpen and bench remain absolute war-stricken disaster zones.
-Joe Torre still has his finger on the button.
So...yeah. The playoffs would be an amazing achievement for a team this poorly constructed, this poorly managed, and this snake-bitten (literally...nothing's been the same since the 2001 W.S. loss to the Diamondbacks). I don't think they're getting there. And if they don't, I don't care if they win 80 games or 93 games. Leave the moral victories to cute little teams like the Mariners and the Giants.
If the Yankees can find a way to improve their future at the trading deadline, they have a responsibility to act. Unless they can pull a game-changing, potentially illegal Bobby Abreu-type trade to drastically improve their chances this year, they should be looking forward and letting the '07 team die a quiet, peaceful death. Small moves and band-aids at this point won't be enough to save the current season.
But is there anything available that will help the '08 team? Let's assume that the Yankees don't go nuclear, and they re-sign Posada and Rivera after the season. That means the roster next year won't start off looking that much different from this year's underachievers:
C Posada
1B ???
2B Cano
SS Jeter
3B ARod? (player option to walk)
LF Matsui
CF Damon/Cabrera
RF Abreu? ($18 million club option)
DH Giambi/Damon (It should be a legally sanctioned state holiday when the 2009 season ends and Giambi's albatross of a contract is finally off the books)
Say goodbye to: Minky, Miguel Cairo.
Now how about the pitching?
SP Wang
SP Hughes
SP Pettitte? ($16 million player option)
SP Mussina
SP Igawa (signed through 2011!)
RP Farnsworth
RP The Great Rivera
Say goodbye to: Mike Myers, Luis Vizcaino, Ron Villone.
The smart money says Pettitte stays. ARod will test the market. And the Yankees will let Abreu walk. So there are holes to fill at 1B, RF, possibly 3B, possibly SP, and of course the always woeful bullpen and bench.
At this trading deadline, there are a couple different options for the Yankees. Remember, this is an extremely weak free agent class coming up. In areas where the Yankees need help, Torii Hunter, Andruw Jones, Jermaine Dye, Eric Gagne, Freddy Garcia, Luis Gonzalez, Mike Lowell, Ichiro and Carlos Zambrano are the highlights, such as they are.
The Yankees can sell off, loading up on prospects and adding to the good, young pitching that is the organization's most salient current strength. They can attempt to acquire a long-term solution at a weak position by trading for a player (think Mark Teixeira) soon to be a free agent and then signing him long-term. Or they can attempt to make small moves, fixing problems like backup catcher now, rather than wait until the off-season when there will be other priorities. (Certainly, Brian Cashman hasn't shown any predilection for dealing with the bench in off-seasons past.)
Their most tradeable asset is clearly Alex Rodriguez, assuming he waives his no-trade clause. He's the best positional player in baseball. A contending team trading for him would receive a huge second-half boost and a potential leg up on signing him in the off-season. But it's unclear what kind of haul the Yankees could expect in return for what amounts to a half-season rental. The Nationals pulled Alfonso Soriano off the market last year in a similar situation because they couldn't get the level of prospects they were seeking. ARod's a better player than ASor, but Soriano was in the midst of a career year.
The Yankees could probably get one blue-chip prospect for ARod, a legitimate stud, particularly if they sought a position player like the Tigers' Cameron Maybin or one of the Angels' stock of young hitting talent. They could also probably get a collection of young B+ arms. I doubt they could get a blue-chipper plus a legitimate current major leaguer of value. Young talent is too valuable in today's market.
If they do trade ARod, the pressing problem becomes what to do at third base. There are no good answers on the free agent market. No one is coming quickly in the farm system. ARod's production is near impossible to replace. For that reason, the Yankees should not deal the troubled slugger, but instead pursue him aggressively in the off-season and sign him to an extension. In the later years of that contract, he won't be worth the money he'll make. But for the next 3-4 years, the Yankees need ARod at third if they're going to content.
So how about dealing for Teixeira? Andruw Jones? Dye? Jones and Dye have been abysmal this year, and Kenny Williams seems to ask for unreasonable trades. Mark Buehrle for Phil Hughes? Give me a fucking break, Kenny. Go sign another Darin Erstad.
That leaves Teixeira, who might not fetch too much in return given his post-2008 free agency, and the Rangers' desperate straits. But the Yanks would need to give up some of their good, young pitching to get him. the package would likely start with Joba Chamberlain. That's too steep a price to pay for a 27-year-old first baseman with a career .903 OPS? I honestly don't know.
Unfortunately, the Yankees hands are tied by a lot of their current contracts. And they have a large number of holes to fill without the benefit of a good free agent class. They'll need to give up something to get something. Teixeira is a proven talent, and young pitching fails more likely than it succeeds. Given that the Yankees will also need a right fielder and possibly a third baseman, I'd try to make the deal.
There are no quick fixes coming in the Bronx, that much is clear. The system's young pitching is probably the solution, but unless some of the arms are used in trades, that solution might be three years away.
The Red Sox aren't collapsing — their starting pitching is too strong and consistent, the back end of their bullpen is phenomenal, and they don't have the gaping wounds in their collective psyche that would have haunted them before 2004.
The Tigers and Indians both look strong too, and unlikely to let an 8.5-game lead slip away. The Tigers are much better than they were last year, with Sheffield and a resurrected Magglio Ordonez mashing, and Jeremy Bonderman and Justin Verlander holding strong as the tentpoles of the rotation. Cleveland has a solid roster top-to-bottom, led by unheralded (if crooked-capped) ace C.C. Sabathia. Their two best hitters, Hafner and Sizemore, underperformed in the first half, if anything. The starting pitching is a bit suspect after Sabathia, and Sweaty Joe Borowski (and his 5.35 ERA) is one of the worst closers in baseball, but this is still too good a team to lose a big second-half lead. I hope I'm wrong. But I'm not.
Meanwhile, our tortured antiheroes, the Yankees themselves, prepare to mount a late surge to push back the insurgents and take the land that's rightfully theirs. Sadly, many of the problems that plagued them in the first half won't magically disappear because we want them to:
-Mike Mussina, Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens are all nearing the end of their careers, and all are capable of solid-to-great performances. But old pitchers and consistency don't go hand-in-hand.
-Phil Hughes can't be relied on to stay healthy, despite recent encouraging developments.
-Even with the Erubiel Durazo signing, the Yanks are shaky at best at the cold corner. Durazo hasn't slugged above .406 at any level since 2004, and Miguel Cairo and Andy Phillips are still in the picture. It's an ugly fucking picture.
-Johnny Damon's body is being used as a host by Bernie William's vengeful spirit. This has caused Damon, and his pain-addled carcass, to post the following OPS's by month this season: .678, .777, .619, .584.
-I'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but a rotting corpse is currently backing up Jorge Posada.
-The bullpen and bench remain absolute war-stricken disaster zones.
-Joe Torre still has his finger on the button.
So...yeah. The playoffs would be an amazing achievement for a team this poorly constructed, this poorly managed, and this snake-bitten (literally...nothing's been the same since the 2001 W.S. loss to the Diamondbacks). I don't think they're getting there. And if they don't, I don't care if they win 80 games or 93 games. Leave the moral victories to cute little teams like the Mariners and the Giants.
If the Yankees can find a way to improve their future at the trading deadline, they have a responsibility to act. Unless they can pull a game-changing, potentially illegal Bobby Abreu-type trade to drastically improve their chances this year, they should be looking forward and letting the '07 team die a quiet, peaceful death. Small moves and band-aids at this point won't be enough to save the current season.
But is there anything available that will help the '08 team? Let's assume that the Yankees don't go nuclear, and they re-sign Posada and Rivera after the season. That means the roster next year won't start off looking that much different from this year's underachievers:
C Posada
1B ???
2B Cano
SS Jeter
3B ARod? (player option to walk)
LF Matsui
CF Damon/Cabrera
RF Abreu? ($18 million club option)
DH Giambi/Damon (It should be a legally sanctioned state holiday when the 2009 season ends and Giambi's albatross of a contract is finally off the books)
Say goodbye to: Minky, Miguel Cairo.
Now how about the pitching?
SP Wang
SP Hughes
SP Pettitte? ($16 million player option)
SP Mussina
SP Igawa (signed through 2011!)
RP Farnsworth
RP The Great Rivera
Say goodbye to: Mike Myers, Luis Vizcaino, Ron Villone.
The smart money says Pettitte stays. ARod will test the market. And the Yankees will let Abreu walk. So there are holes to fill at 1B, RF, possibly 3B, possibly SP, and of course the always woeful bullpen and bench.
At this trading deadline, there are a couple different options for the Yankees. Remember, this is an extremely weak free agent class coming up. In areas where the Yankees need help, Torii Hunter, Andruw Jones, Jermaine Dye, Eric Gagne, Freddy Garcia, Luis Gonzalez, Mike Lowell, Ichiro and Carlos Zambrano are the highlights, such as they are.
The Yankees can sell off, loading up on prospects and adding to the good, young pitching that is the organization's most salient current strength. They can attempt to acquire a long-term solution at a weak position by trading for a player (think Mark Teixeira) soon to be a free agent and then signing him long-term. Or they can attempt to make small moves, fixing problems like backup catcher now, rather than wait until the off-season when there will be other priorities. (Certainly, Brian Cashman hasn't shown any predilection for dealing with the bench in off-seasons past.)
Their most tradeable asset is clearly Alex Rodriguez, assuming he waives his no-trade clause. He's the best positional player in baseball. A contending team trading for him would receive a huge second-half boost and a potential leg up on signing him in the off-season. But it's unclear what kind of haul the Yankees could expect in return for what amounts to a half-season rental. The Nationals pulled Alfonso Soriano off the market last year in a similar situation because they couldn't get the level of prospects they were seeking. ARod's a better player than ASor, but Soriano was in the midst of a career year.
The Yankees could probably get one blue-chip prospect for ARod, a legitimate stud, particularly if they sought a position player like the Tigers' Cameron Maybin or one of the Angels' stock of young hitting talent. They could also probably get a collection of young B+ arms. I doubt they could get a blue-chipper plus a legitimate current major leaguer of value. Young talent is too valuable in today's market.
If they do trade ARod, the pressing problem becomes what to do at third base. There are no good answers on the free agent market. No one is coming quickly in the farm system. ARod's production is near impossible to replace. For that reason, the Yankees should not deal the troubled slugger, but instead pursue him aggressively in the off-season and sign him to an extension. In the later years of that contract, he won't be worth the money he'll make. But for the next 3-4 years, the Yankees need ARod at third if they're going to content.
So how about dealing for Teixeira? Andruw Jones? Dye? Jones and Dye have been abysmal this year, and Kenny Williams seems to ask for unreasonable trades. Mark Buehrle for Phil Hughes? Give me a fucking break, Kenny. Go sign another Darin Erstad.
That leaves Teixeira, who might not fetch too much in return given his post-2008 free agency, and the Rangers' desperate straits. But the Yanks would need to give up some of their good, young pitching to get him. the package would likely start with Joba Chamberlain. That's too steep a price to pay for a 27-year-old first baseman with a career .903 OPS? I honestly don't know.
Unfortunately, the Yankees hands are tied by a lot of their current contracts. And they have a large number of holes to fill without the benefit of a good free agent class. They'll need to give up something to get something. Teixeira is a proven talent, and young pitching fails more likely than it succeeds. Given that the Yankees will also need a right fielder and possibly a third baseman, I'd try to make the deal.
There are no quick fixes coming in the Bronx, that much is clear. The system's young pitching is probably the solution, but unless some of the arms are used in trades, that solution might be three years away.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
You Can't Beat Superman With a Bow and Arrow (Unless the Arrows are Made of Kryptonite, But Even Then Superman is Probably Fast Enough to Dodge Them)
...and you can't beat Johan Santana with Andy Phillips, Miguel Cairo, Kevin Thompson and a rotting corpse in your starting lineup.
Just sayin'.
Just sayin'.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Cialis and Co-Dependency
The Yankee's hitters need to check their e-mail and start answering some solicitations for cheap Cialis and Viagra, because the offense is impotent right now. I know Erik Bedard's a good pitcher, but only advancing one runner to second base is embarrassing and pathetic.
Jorge Posada. Alex Rodriguez. Derek Jeter. Those are the only competent offensive players on this team. They happen to be three exceptional players, but they're getting no help whatsoever. Hideki Matsui has completely disappeared this year. Bobby Abreu died in 2005. Oh, and MIGUEL CAIRO IS STILL STARTING GAMES AT FIRST BASE.
Being a Yankees fan this year is like being in love with an alcoholic. How can you trust and support someone who refuses to admit they have a problem? How can you help someone who refuses to help themselves? The Yankees stubbornly deny they have problems, despite starting a middling utility infielder at first base and carrying a rotting corpse at backup catcher. They can't admit that Kyle Farnsworth destroys everything he touches. Joe Torre fails to ever learn from his mistakes, no matter how costly and egregious.
I still love this team, but they're abusing me. They're willfully neglecting their responsibility to put the best team possible on the field. Is that what it feels like to be a Pirates fan?
Jorge Posada. Alex Rodriguez. Derek Jeter. Those are the only competent offensive players on this team. They happen to be three exceptional players, but they're getting no help whatsoever. Hideki Matsui has completely disappeared this year. Bobby Abreu died in 2005. Oh, and MIGUEL CAIRO IS STILL STARTING GAMES AT FIRST BASE.
Being a Yankees fan this year is like being in love with an alcoholic. How can you trust and support someone who refuses to admit they have a problem? How can you help someone who refuses to help themselves? The Yankees stubbornly deny they have problems, despite starting a middling utility infielder at first base and carrying a rotting corpse at backup catcher. They can't admit that Kyle Farnsworth destroys everything he touches. Joe Torre fails to ever learn from his mistakes, no matter how costly and egregious.
I still love this team, but they're abusing me. They're willfully neglecting their responsibility to put the best team possible on the field. Is that what it feels like to be a Pirates fan?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Let the Tickertape Rain Down
Hooray for backup catcher/rotting corpse Wil Nieves, who last night notched a single to raise his line to .042/.042./.042. The liner to left was Nieves's first major league hit since 2002. Of course, the slow-footed catcher tried to stretch his cute little hit into a double and was thrown out by 10 feet, so he has still contributed literally nothing on offense in five years.
This dude is so far below replacement level he can't even see Clay Bellinger from where he squats. I never knew it was possible to miss John Flaherty so deep in your soul.
This dude is so far below replacement level he can't even see Clay Bellinger from where he squats. I never knew it was possible to miss John Flaherty so deep in your soul.
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