Brief Ballpark Reviews: U.S. Cellular Field

The erstwhile Comiskey Park is in a nightmare of a neighborhood: hard to drive to, ridiculously expensive parking, no bars around.

The ballpark itself is serviceable if dull, having had the bad luck to be built right before the current wave of retro chic took effect. The food's pretty good, so that's something, I guess.

The people are fat. Incredibly, undeniably fat.

Fuck You: David Wells

David Wells called out Roger Clemens yesterday, claiming Rocket is disrespecting his teammates by signing a contract that allows him not to travel with the team when not pitching.

"I don't think I would ever do it because of the fact I personally think it would disrespect the team and your teammates," Wells said. "You look at the other players. How are they going to respect you? What are they going to think if you're not there pulling for the team?"

Well, Boomer, here is what I personally think disrespects the team and your teammates: being a fat, disgusting, attention-seeking, beer-soaked fuck who has to leave Game 5 of the 2003 World Series after one inning with a back injury because your withered, addled spine can't support your obscene weight.

I think costing your team a World Series, and being run out of town in the process, because you are too lazy to put down that bacon-wrapped cheeseburger and get on a treadmill even though you are a highly paid professional athlete...I think that's fairly disrespectful.

You're a worthless, gout-ridden bastard who needs to mind his own business, and keep his petty, inane, jealous comments inside his corpulent head.