Brief Ballpark Review: Busch Stadium

In honor of the amount of effort put into the new Busch Stadium, a haiku:

The best baseball fans?
No, though clearly the dumbest
The ballpark is "blah"

Brief Ballpark Review...Kauffman Stadium

Kauffman Stadium is a very pretty ballpark with a pleasant ambiance and lovely fountains in centerfield. It's too bad they don't have baseball there.

Brief Ballpark Reviews...Shea Stadium

Umm...guys? What's with all the orange?


Good fucking riddance.

Brief Ballpark Reviews: U.S. Cellular Field

The erstwhile Comiskey Park is in a nightmare of a neighborhood: hard to drive to, ridiculously expensive parking, no bars around.

The ballpark itself is serviceable if dull, having had the bad luck to be built right before the current wave of retro chic took effect. The food's pretty good, so that's something, I guess.

The people are fat. Incredibly, undeniably fat.

Brief Ballpark Review: Fenway Park

Fenway Park is a lovely old stadium that, despite its less-than-stellar modern amenities, seating angles and views, and infrastructure, retains its old-world charm due to its unique crevices and idiosyncrasies.

Everybody inside the ballpark, though, is an enormous fucking asshole. This includes both players and fans.

I guess my point is...fuck Boston.

Brief Ballpark Reviews: Great American Ballpark

Dear Cincinnati:

Your city looks like the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust. Your baseball stadium is a little bit nicer than that.

Brief Ballpark Reviews: Wrigley Field

Wait…you want me to piss in a trough? What am I, a fucking animal? The Tribune Company can’t afford a few goddamn urinals for those of us who don’t want our streams co-mingling with those of others? Jesus fucking Christ.

Beautiful field, though.