And I'd do a better job than at least half the guys who have the jobs now.
I know this because SI.com irritant Jon Heyman has asked 14 high-ranking front office types to name the five players that would most like to start a team with from scratch. Tied for the most votes? Jonny Papelbon.
A closer with a balky shoulder. A guy who, at most, will pitch about 60 innings a year. Well chosen, baseball execs. Oh, and guys? Last year's two World Series teams featured Jason Isringhausen/Adam Wainwright and Todd Jones at closer. Al Reyes is having a great year! You can find closers in the fucking garbage can these days. It's not that hard.
Also receiving votes? Takashi Saito. Toriiiiiiiiii Hunter. YADIER MOLINA.
Tied for eighth place were the two best players in baseball today, and presumably for the next five years, Johan Santana and Albert Pujols. Amazing how a slow April can wipe out years of productivity in people's minds. And Justin Verlander's no-hitter vaulted him above more proven commodities with better scouting reports.
So, the next time some asinine Kazmir-for Zambrano trade gets completed, don't be surprised. Remember that the same idiots who think Jonny Papelbon is the most valuable player in baseball are running your team.
For the record, the list should read like this. And there can be no arguments.