Friday, June 8, 2007

Don't Write When You're Angry

FUCK THAT NOISE.

Ironically, Joe Torre's 2,000th career managerial win featured one of his worst strategic performances to date. Here are 10 things that made me furious during last night's 10-3 win over the White Sox, the least relaxing seven-run victory in baseball history.

1) In a decision reeking of senility, Torre chose to give Derek Jeter a night off (though he pinch-hit late) for the same game that The Unsinkable Wil Nieves was subbing for Jorge Posada. With one deft stroke, Torre removed two of the Yankees' three best hitters from the starting lineup, a lineup that featured an impressive bottom three of Phelps/Cairo/Nieves.

2) Torre pulled Mike Mussina with two on and no out in the 7th inning, after Mussina had allowed ZERO RUNS on only 79 PITCHES. Mussina got the hook after allowing an infield dribbler and one hard-hit ball to open the inning. Stupidity turned into idiocy as Torre elected to bring in Mike Myers to face lefty A.J. Pierzynski. Myers had allowed a .333 BAA to lefties entering the game, and Pierzynski promptly singled in the tying run.

3) In the 8th inning of a 4-1 game, Torre brought Kyle Farnsworth in to "hold the lead." Farnsy predictably blew up, forcing Torre to bring in Rivera for a potential five-out save...

4)...but Rivera's arm was saved by the Yankees' six-run outburst in the top of the ninth, which gave them a 10-3 lead. BUT TORRE LEFT RIVERA IN THE FUCKING GAME. After vowing in spring training to never use the aging closer for more than an inning, Torre let him pitch 1 2/3 when there was absolutely no justifiable reason to do so. I don't know if Torre wanted Mo to get a save because his total is so low this year, or if he honestly didn't believe any of his other pitchers could hold a seven-run lead against the worst offensive team in the American League. Either way, Torre was handed a gift and promptly pissed green tea all over it. I know Rivera hasn't pitched a lot this year, but that's not a good enough reason to let him go an extra inning when the game's already wrapped up. Now, he probably can't pitch tonight.

5) Where the fuck is Chris Britton?

6) I don't know if it was Torre's call or his own, but Johnny Damon had no business attempting to bunt after Jeter led off the 8th with a single.

7) Apparently, Jeter can't go to his right anymore, either.

8, 8...I forget what 8 was for...

but 9, 9, 9 for my lost God...

10, 10, 10, 10 is for Melky Cabrera batting second instead of Cano or Abreu. It must be his "energy."