Each One of Us is a Brain, and an Athlete, and a Basket Case...

Michael Kay mentioned during last night's abomination of a game that Devil Rays center fielder Elijah Dukes attended Hillsborough High School in Tampa, Fla., which is also the alma matter of Dwight Gooden, Gary Sheffield and Carl Everett.

Wow.


Good ol' Hillsborough High, "Home of the Big Red," is doing a fantastic job of churning out quality citizens. I just checked out their course catalog, and they offer some innovative classes for their top-level athletes:

• "No one Ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex": The Dinosaur Fallacy
• Defining Indefinite Suspensions
• Sewer Water vs. Evian: What Whitey Gets to Shower In
• Breaking Pyscho Fan's Heart: How to Break Up No-Hitters at Fenway
• Gays Being Gay is Wrong: Defending Yourself Against Locker-Room Homos
• Malcolm, Martin & Sheff: The Calmness
• Making Veiled Suicide Threats Work for You
• Taking a Telephone to the Head from your Lady (special guest instructor Russell Crowe)