Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Carl Pavano is a Zombie

There have been rumors to this effect before, but I'm pretty sure the Yankees have somehow turned Carl Pavano into a zombie.

In today's New York Post, Joe Torre says of Pavano, "I thought he competed well. He has come a long way and we are pleased with that."

Later, speaking of his last spring start, the article continues, "'That's part of competing,' Pavano said of getting eight outs on four grounders. 'Competing is what's on your mind.'"

What? That makes no sense unless Joe Torre has somehow turned Pavano into a zombie, and "competing" is his trigger word. Whenever Torre says "competing," Pavano forgets what a pussy he is, forgets how much his buttocks hurt, and his mind is cleansed of all thought except how to throw a two-seamer and the thirst for human flesh.

There is no other acceptable explanation for why Carl Pavano is starting opening day for the 2007 New York Yankees.