Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Freddy vs. Jason

When Curt Schilling butts heads with the Boston media, who loses?

We all do.

Dan Shaughnessy is a shameless, petty, grudge-carrying, pathetic excuse for a would-be journalist. Curt Schilling is a self-aggrandizing, attention-seeking, politically-fucking-nuts, mildly overrated media whore. So who's right? They both are. And who's wrong? So, so, so fucking wrong? I think you know the answer to that one, kids.

If only we could manage to escalate the Schilling-Shaughnessy cold war into a full-scale armed conflict, complete with mutually assured destruction.

Perhaps Curt "And make sure you tell everybody to vote, and vote Bush next week" Schilling should join his hero's war in Iraq. It's a win-win: the Red Sox pitching staff grows weaker, plus it's much harder to get yourself in the papers every day from the middle of the desert.

Then, Shaughnessy would have nothing left to write about, and he'd just sit around staring at the secret shrine to Schilling above his toilet, longing for the salad days of their sexually charged feud.