An A.J. Burnett Elimination Game

And so it was written. And so it has come to pass.

Ever since the rainout on Friday night, this series has unfolded with the inevitability of a Rube Goldberg contraption. The little ball had started rolling, it was about to knock into some lever, a chicken was going to lay an egg, and eventually A.J. Burnett would start an elimination game. You could see it happening but could do nothing to prevent it.

The Yankees' lack of foresight has led us here: first including A.J. Burnett on the post-season roster, and then a series of Joe Girardi moves that harmed the team in two winnable games.

But here we are.

It's dark. It's freezing cold. We've reached our end.

Fire Joseph Elliott Girardi

Let's leave aside for the moment that Joe Girardi and the Yankees brain trust elected to include the incompetent A.J. Burnett on the post-season roster and that now Burnett is in a position to decide the Yankees season.

(What's that? You can't leave that aside? It's consuming you? It's created a fire of rage within you that can't be extinguished? Huh.)

Steven Goldman at Pinstriped Bible calls Girardi's playoffs manifestation "Coffee Joe" because the Yankees' manager gets hyper in the post-season and overthinks the game. And Coffee Joe was at his caffeinated worst yesterday in guiding the Yankees to a 5-3 defeat to Detroit at home.


First, down 4-0 in the 7th inning with two on and one out, Girardi pinch hit Eric Chavez for Brett Gardner -- a move he never made all season and would never make in any regular season. Chavez, who has shown almost no power this season (80:1 AB/HR ratio), predictably struck out. Girardi's explanation? "Just hoping he might pop one." Uh huh.

Then, in the 9th inning, down 4-1, Girardi elected to send his single worst non-Burnett pitcher to the mound. Again predictably, Luis Ayala yielded a run and the Yankees batted in the 9th down 5-1. When they inevitably rallied, that extra run really didn't help. Neither did Andruw Jones batting against a right-hander instead of Gardner.

Why, why, why pitch Ayala? It's indefensible. David Robertson and Rafael Soriano hadn't pitched since Tuesday? Was a 4-1 deficit so insurmountable (with one of the game's best offenses) that Girardi felt the need to throw up the white flag? When three losses will end your season, maybe you shouldn't give one away so easily.

Can't wait to see what Coffee Joe does tonight.

The New Public Enemy No. 1

Get out your darts, kids. Here's one for your bullseye:


Brian Cashman shouldn't have signed Chan Ho Park. But Joe Girardi certainly shouldn't be relying on him late in a two-run game at Fenway Park.

Last night was a Joe Torre special, a bullpen mismanagement worthy of Girardi's predecessor. Park has a WHIP of 1.40 and an EqERA of 4.61 last year...in the National League. His career stats aren't any better. What about that screams "Can succeed in the A.L. East"?

Guys fail. Guys blow games. It happens. But it enrages me when managers don't give their team the best possible chance to win a game -- it's really not that difficult. There was no reason for Girardi to pull David Robertson after two batters (shades of the ALCS).

And just like that...the Era of Good Feeling is over.

Game 5

My emotions following Game 5, explained in animal facial expressions.

10:30 p.m.:


10:35 p.m.:

10:45 p.m.:

11:30 p.m.:

12:00 a.m.:

1:15 a.m.:

2:00 a.m.:

3:30 a.m.:

7:00 a.m.:

(apologies to Emma at Eephus Pitch)

A Historic Night

It has become apparent this season that Joe Girardi learned well at the foot of the master of stupidity. For years (and years and years and...), Joe Torre cost the Yankees victories by refusing to use his best pitchers in the highest-leverage situations. Most egregiously, he steadfastly avoided bringing Mariano Rivera into tie games on the road in late innings. Why? Dunno. You'd have to ask Torre. Maybe the Big Book of Old-Timey Baseball Laws told him to.

Tonight, and not for the first time, Joe Girardi left Mariano Rivera sitting on his ass with the game on the line in a 1-1 game in the bottom of the ninth inning. He brought The Arsonist Kyle Farnsworth into the game instead. So Rivera would be saved to protect a lead that might very well never have occurred. That Farnsworth got out of the inning is entirely beside the point. Girardi needed to ask himself, "Who has the best chance to get this game to extra innings to give us a chance to win?" The answer is not Kyle Farnsworth.

I will not rest until the Yankees have a manager who, at the very least, doesn't blatantly hand the opposition games through sheer stupidity. A skipper with some basic understanding of the grander intricacies of the game would be nice, but I'm not chasing rainbows here. I'm just demanding a bare minimum of reasoning ability.

And so tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present to you the debut of.....

The "Fire Joe Girardi" tag!

That didn't take long.