Friday, September 14, 2007

I'm Going to Hell! Who's Coming With Me?

The Yankees begin a three-game series tonight in the darkest regions of Mordor Fenway Park that will go a long way to determining their playoff standing.

If the Yankees sweep Boston, they will be two games out in the loss column with two weeks remaining in the season, and a legitimate chance to win the A.L. East.

If they get swept, they risk letting Detroit move to within a half-game of the Wild Card lead and potentially missing the post-season altogether.

Both teams have their pitching lined up the way they want, with Andy Pettitte, Chien-Ming Wang and Roger Clemens lining up against Douche-K, Josh Beckett and Curt Schilling. The Yankees' edge in starting pitching is probably offset by Boston's home-field advantage. And Joba Chamberlain probably can only pitch one in the series, thanks to the brilliant machinations of Genius Joe.

The Red Sox will also likely be looking for revenge after Joba threw up-and-in twice against Kevin Youkilis two weeks ago in the Bronx. Someone's getting drilled this series, and things could escalate quickly. Brawls, suspensions and injuries would not surprise me.

Odds on the first Yankee to get drilled:

ARod - 2:1 — A third baseman for a third baseman.
Jeter - 3:1 — Always a target, and he stays close to the plate.
Johnny Damon - 6:1 — Would certainly get the crowd going, and he's the leadoff hitter. Why waste time?
Bobby Abreu - 7:1 — Seems most comparable to Youkilis in terms of overall value.
Jorge Posada - 9:1 — So valuable to the Yankees that injuring him "accidentally" would be of tremendous benefit to the Sox.
Hideki Matsui - 10:1 — Seems like a nice guy so nobody usually fucks with him.