Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Overheard in The Psycho Fan's Apartment

The following excerpts were overheard in The Psycho Fan's apartment last night during the Yankees/Blue Jays game. This exercise offers a brief glimpse into what life is like for Mrs. Psycho Fan on game nights.

"I can hit a curveball better than Cano. Trade this clown already."

"They're bringing Farnsworth in? Seriously? What the fuck? Where's Vizcaino? Where's Ramirez?"

"Joe Torre is the dumbest person in America. I can't even fucking believe this."

"Nice throw, Farnsworth. Fuckwad. Burn in hell."

"Matsui is a fucking disgrace to mankind." (Hideki Matsui has homered 6 times in 12 games.)

"That wasn't driven to left field, Michael Kay. It was a fucking blooper." (Michael Kay did not respond.)

[crash of remote controls flying into shutters; scampering feet as Mrs. Psycho Fan runs from the room] "Oh my God, I want Larry Bowa dead."

"Wipe that smile off your face, Torre. You don't deserve it."


"God, I love Cano."