Much has been made of the secret conversation between George Steinbrenner and Roger Clemens in March, which purportedly helped push the Rocket to the Yankees.
Clemens has stated he won't reveal what Steinbrenner told him in Tampa, but might let us know after the season. Rumors have swirled that Steinbrenner told Clemens that the Boss is in poor health, and is running out of time to witness one more championship. Some other possibilities:
"Listen, Rocket, you remember how I thought that Randy Johnson could replace your production and lead us to a title? I've made a huge mistake."
"Listen, Rocket, you remember how I thought that the combination of Kevin Brown, Carl Pavano, Jaret Wright, Kei Igawa, Javier Vazquez and Jose Contreras could replace your production and lead us to a title? I've made a huge mistake."
"Howdy, Rocket, come on in. There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time now, but I've never quite been able to work up the courage. I...God, how do I say this?...I, um, want to put myself inside of you. I love you, Roger, and I want to feel your sugar walls. Your musk has driven me crazy since 1998, and the time has come to let our bodies intertwine."
"Goddamnit, Rocket, you have to come pitch for us this year. Pettitte cries himself to sleep every night. He calls me at four in the morning asking why you don't care about him anymore. He says that one day you said you were going out for beer and then never came back."
"Catfish, hello! It's been so long!" [Steinbrenner spokesman Howard Rubenstein translates: "Mr. Steinbrenner greets you warmly, Mr. Clemens, and wishes you and your family continued good health and happiness."] "I have a new medication. It makes me salivate." [Rubenstein: "Mr. Steinbrenner would like for you to come out of retirement to pitch for the 26-time world champion New York Yankees this year."] "Marshmallows! Kittens! Trampolines!" [Rubenstein: "Mr. Steinbrenner cordially offers you a pro-rated $28.5 million contract to help lead the Yankees to victory. Our attorneys will be in touch."]
"Hello, Rocket, I'd like you to meet someone. This is Pacman Jones. OK, Pac, make it rain!"