Top 1st - Dougie Baseball received a rather lackluster ovation in his first at-bat. Surprising, since on any given night at the Metrodome, Minky jerseys outnumber those of current Twins by at least double.
Bottom 1st - Carl Pavano looks like he would rather be anyplace else in the world. And that's after retiring the side handily.
Top 2nd - Rick Sutcliffe notices that Sid the Kid Ponson is sweating like a white Patrick Ewing, despite being in the second inning of a game being played in controlled temperatures. How is Ponson still in the big leagues? Does every single team in baseball have to sign him, watch him lose five straight games, and then realize for themselves that he's worthless? Don't they have scouts anymore?
Bottom 2nd - Sutcliffe describes Justin Morneau as having "lumberjack strength." Has a black or Latino player ever been described as having lumberjack strength?
Bottom 2nd - Morneau just looks dumb. You can tell. He has that glazed, vacant way about him.
Bottom 3rd - Derek Jeter makes a play to his left! Derek Jeter makes a play to his left!
Top 4th - A small yet audible "Let's Go Knoblauch!" chant can be heard from the Twin City faithful. I'm not sure who this is directed at, or what the purpose is. Given the number of Minky jerseys in the stands, there's a legitimate chance that the chanters think this is 1997. Things move slow up there.
Top 4th - Sutty remarks that Jorge Posada is the real leader of the Yankees. "Derek Jeter might tell him what to say sometimes, but Posada's the one who stands up and says it."
Hmmm....Jetes as Cyrano de Bergerac. I like it. A brief play:
INT. YANKEES' CLUBHOUSE.
The Yankees are sitting in a big circle for a players-only meeting following a six-game losing streak. MARIANO RIVERA fiddles with his rosary beads. JASON GIAMBI idly gives himself another tattoo. CARL PAVANO quietly wonders what his chest pains mean, and if he should get that new mole on his thigh biopsied.
DEREK JETER glares at JORGE POSADA until he makes eye contact. Jorge stands up. He takes out some note cards and fumbles with them nervously.
JORGE:
Uh...hey everyone. I...uh...have a couple things to say. This..uh...effort that...um..we've been seeing the last few games is, it's unacceptable. Everybody here can do better, can do more to help this team win.
Derek loudly clears his throat.
JORGE:
Well, almost everyone that is, heh heh.
Jorge wipes the sweat from his brow.
JORGE:
So...uh...in conclusion, let's go give it our all out there, like the True Yankees we are. Of course, if there are those among us, let's say certain highly paid third basemen, who are not, and can never be, True Yankees, then we...uh...fully understand that you will never amount to anything. So if you want to quit or ask for a trade, go ahead.
