Game 1

The Phillies are a formidable opponent, and Cliff Lee's a great pitcher...

.....but COME ON!

We've Made a Huge Mistake

The year was 2004. After a devastating playoff loss to the Red Sox, the Yankees' starting rotation was bankrupt. Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte were long gone. Javier Vazquez seemed like a New York bust. El Duque was old. Kevin Brown was crumbling. Jon Lieber was headed out of town. Only Mike Mussina could reliably be penciled in to the 2005 rotation.

So the Yankees went shopping. Vazquez became Randy Johnson, and Johnson received a hefty two-year contract extension. Injury-prone one-year wonder Jaret Wright was inked to a three-year deal. Injury-prone one-year wonder Carl Pavano was inked to a four-year deal.

We all know how that plan worked out. Shawn Chacon and Aaron Small saved the Yankees' 2005 season, and Wright, Pavano and even Johnson were flat-out disasters for the lengths of their tenures in pinstripes.

It is happening again.

Brian Cashman clearly has not learned from his mistakes.

I don't have much of a problem with the Sabathia signing. The Yankees absolutely need pitching, with only Chien-Ming Wang and Joba Chamberlain (both coming off injuries) slated to begin 2009 in the starting rotation. Sabathia was expensive, but possibly necessary. It's been proven again and again that hitting is a safer long-term investment than pitching. I would rather the Yankees had signed Mark Teixeira than Sabathia if they could truly only afford one of them.

But the Sabathia move is defensible. You can justify overpaying for the premier pitcher on the market. But A.J. Fucking Burnett for 5 years and $82.5 million???

For a guy who:
-Has started 30 games twice in his career, both in contract years
-Will be 36 when the new contract ends
-Has posted WHIPs over 1.3o twice in the last three years
-Seems like a dick
-Owns a career ERA+ of 111, and whose prime is probably over

And now the Yankees are considering adding Derek Lowe too? I can't wait for the 2010 off-season, when the Yankees claim they can't afford to sign any decent players because they have too much committed to Burnett and Lowe. These are the kind of mistakes that haunt a team for years. The kind of mistakes that have put the Yankees in the situation they're in now.

Add in the fact that they were too cheap to offer Bobby Abreu arbitration, and too dumb to figure out that Damaso Marte didn't need a three-year deal, and this off-season is shaping up to be extremely problematic. The offense was woeful last year, and looks to be even worse in 2009. All the aging veterans will be another year older, and Nick Swisher is expected to replace the production of both Jason Giambi and Abreu.

Ugh.

It's Harder Now That It's Over

I'm genuinely sad for Joe Torre today.

But that doesn't mean he should stay. This team is quickly becoming the Braves of the '90s. Three straight ALDS losses. 4-13 in their last 17 post-season games. Stunning strategic blunders. It's time for a new era.

Maybe with a different manager, the Yankees don't make the playoffs this year. But maybe, if they get in, they actually win the World Series. I'm ready to take the chance.

Thursday Night CF

I don't understand why Phil Hughes came in for mop-up duty in a blowout, when he might be needed to relieve Roger Clemens in Game 3, or start Game 4.

And I really don't understand why Robert Dunder was manging last night's game.

Game One Analysis

Why did ARod pitch so terribly? Choker.

16-0

Well, I woke up this morning to discover that it really happened. The Yankees wrapped up a 2-5 road trip filled with close, painful losses by losing painfully and not close. The Tigers humiliated New York 16-0, and may have prematurely ended Mike Mussina's season (career?). More on the decaying moose later.

The Yankee bats could do no right against Justin Verlander, and all the good that came from last weekend's series win over Detroit was undone. Sean Henn was torn apart in 2 2/3 innings, and we will likely never see him in pinstripes again. Although, Joe Torre seems to "trust" him, so who knows?

Anaheim helped the Yankees by beating Seattle, so the Yanks still trail the Mariners by three in the loss column, with Detroit breathing down their necks. It's not over, but if Boston wins two of three, it might be. After going on an improbable roll against bad teams, the Yankees have once again looked mediocre against legitimate competition, going 6-8 against the Tigers, Angels and an Orioles squad playing decent baseball. The Red Sox, meanwhile, have been annihilating the same bad teams the Yankees got fat on, so it will be interesting to see how they fare against a real big league team.

The Yankees' starting pitching has completely let them down, and in particular Roger Clemens and Phil Hughes haven't lived up to expectations. But Wang has struggled too, and Mussina...well, we know all about what he's been up to. The starting pitching wasn't particularly great even while they were winning, but it was masked by a historically hot offense and a resurgent bullpen. Now that the bats have cooled down, the pitching has been exposed. And I really wish they'd close the trenchcoat again, because I don't like what I'm seeing.

Looks like Ken Tremendous was right after all.

Embarrassing

Edwin Jackson has a career ERA of 5.99. His ERA this year is 6.65 (including last night).

Last night, the mighty Yankees managed 0 runs against him in 6 innings. Meanwhile, Moose the finicky cat was pounded by the 90-pound-weaklings of the A.L. East, Tampa Bay.

And today, Matt DeSalvo and Kei Igawa throw in both ends of a double-header. Momentum's gone, folks. Embarrassing.

A Reminder, Vol. II

The Yankees have now scored 4 runs in 23 innings at Coors Field this season. And they're about to get swept by the Colorado Rockies. And Miguel Cairo is playing first base.

UPDATE: Congratulations to Mike Myers for coming in to face one batter, a lefty, and giving up a hit. You're wonderful at your job, Double M.

What an Offense!

Well, the Yankees were dominated by another all-time great, Jeff Francis this time, and Joe Torre left Andy Pettitte in a few hitters too long, and that was that.

Two losses in a row to a crappy N.L. team, and the Yankees find themselves in a double digit deficit in their division yet again. So much for hope. The Yanks were never really in the division race, and the last two games just confirm that.

This is an overrated offense filled with past-their-prime players and guys who shouldn't be in the Major Leagues. Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and Jorge Posada have to carry the load while the rest of the lineup implodes around them. The Johnny Damon contract, which looked so reasonable just 12 months ago, already looks like an albatross. And those of us waiting for Robinson Cano's bat to wake up are starting to get pretty desperate. Melky Cabrera may have all the energy in the world...but he can't hit a lick.

Also, Clueless Joe: everyone watching that game on television could see that Andy Pettitte was tiring and becoming ineffective in the 7th inning. Why couldn't you see that in the dugout? Meanwhile, the best candidate to eventually take over for Torre, Joe Girardi, looks set to take over another team in the division.

Say it ain't so, Joe.

Bang and Blame

Blue Jays 3 - Yankees 2. It's fitting that the Yankees lost a game on a straight steal of home on the same night the Mets won a game on two balks in the same inning. That's the way it's going in the NYC right now.

Last night, the YES cameras captured the Yankees' players in the dugout immediately after the game. I'm not sure what PECOTA would say, but a psychologist would say this team is finished. The pathetic, beaten looks on their faces spoke volumes. This is the same way the team looked toward the end of the 2004 ALCS...they can't figure out what's wrong, and they've lost all hope. ARod, Robinson Cano, Bobby Abreu, they all looked ready to call it a season and move on to 2008. This is a team of quitters, not fighters, save for about five players. You can see the guys who are getting angry instead of frightened (Damon, Posada, Pettitte). Unfortunately, they haven't been able to infect the rest of the team with any spirit during any of the closed-door meetings.

It's also fitting that the only guys performing well right now are the last remaining stalwarts of the dynasty: Pettitte, Jeter and Posada, who's hitting out of his mind this year. Rivera would probably be fine too if given the opportunity. None of the free agents or Johnny-Damon-come-latelys are coming close to carrying their weight. Who's most to blame for this travesty of a season, excepting Steinbrenner, Cashman and Torre for the time being?

Alex Rodriguez - That blond in Toronto looked pretty hot and all, but good riddance, douchefucker. I know I said some nice things about you in April, but you're the same old ARod, and you should have let that bunt roll foul last night.

Bobby Abreu - I'm sorry, Philly fans, for making fun of you for booing The Great Pitch-Taker out of town. Abreu's not just a bad outfielder, he's unholy. He's lost every last bit of his power, and is perhaps the least aggressive hitter on Earth. Go back from whence you came. I miss Shane Spencer.

Johnny Damon - I like Damon, and I know he plays hard, and he's probably half-crippled, but dude takes some ugly routes to fly balls. And his power's up and disappeared too.

Mike Mussina - Fucko. Put down your crosswords and re-learn how to pitch.

Robinson Cano - Looking more and more like a young Alfonso Soriano, but without the speed and power. Well on his way to setting a Yankees record for three-pitch strikeouts in one season. Has yet to see a breaking ball in the dirt he doesn't feel like swinging at. Lazy on defense.

Minky - Goes without saying.

Hideki Matsui - A disappointment. Again.

Scott Proctor - I know it's not his fault. His arm was destroyed by Clueless Joe. But still...

Jason Giambi - Looking frighteningly like the tumor-ridden Giambi of 2005.

So there you have it, a rational, statistics-filled analysis of why everything that could go wrong has gone wrong for the 2007 Yankees. In conclusion, I hate this team, I hate myself and I hate you.

White Sox 4, Yankees 1

So the Yankees return home with their tails between their legs, having lost four of six to two teams they should readily handle, in a stretch vital to their post-season hopes.

The Yankees' offense was completely embarrassed on this trip, and their hole is deeper and darker than ever as they prepare for a brutal stretch of schedule against the Mets, Red Sox and all. This team truly might be out of the division race for good by the time Roger Clemens makes his debut. Think Rocket's regretting his decision already?

This team-wide slump is inexplicable and inexcusable. Hope is fading, and like Jack Bauer says, WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME! It's getting late early out there. Papa don't preach, the Yankees are in trouble deep.

Perhaps this team's problems are deeper and more systemic than any of us realized. I have begun to truly doubt this group of players, this manager and this front office. Looks like the post-season streak ends in 2007.