tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75159998419460545832024-03-13T03:06:40.773-06:00The Psycho FanWatch and enjoy as the New York Yankees slowly kill a grown man.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comBlogger375125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-61895066075132176812012-10-14T08:57:00.001-06:002012-10-14T08:57:46.095-06:00The Night Joe Girardi Broke Derek Jeter's AnkleOK, OK, Joe Girardi didn't pick up a sledgehammer and shatter Derek Jeter's ankle in the dugout. But he might as well have. Because Girardi's incompetence led directly to Jeter's season-ending injury, and the ruination of the Yankees' season.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Granted, Jeter has been playing on an injured ankle for months, and the play on which he broke his ankle was fairly routine -- it's not like he was defending Allen Inverson on a crossover. But Jeter never should have been in that situation in the first place.<br />
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In an American League Championship Series game, when the Yankees stood just four wins from a World Series appearance, Girardi managed like the team was playing a meaningless mid-June game and he wanted to get his veterans some rest.<br />
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Down 2-0 in the 7th inning, Girardi gave the hook to Andy Pettitte, who had pitched well but looked as if he was tiring. So far, so good. But then in from the bullpen trotted Derek Lowe.<br />
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Derek Lowe?<br />
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Lowe is perhaps the 11th best pitcher out of the 12 men they included on the ALCS roster, and that's being charitable. Despite the fact that CC Sabathia's complete game on Friday gave the entire bullpen a day of rest, Girardi elected to hand Detroit the game rather than use David Robertson, or even Joba Chamberlain.<br />
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Detroit scored twice off Lowe. Cut to Jeter face down in the infield dirt, his season and his team's season over.<br />
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Raul Ibanez's ninth-inning heroics should have won the game for the Yankees, not tied it. Girardi then compounded the problem by only letting Robertson and Rafael Soriano pitch one inning each in extras, saving them for a tomorrow that now appears increasingly irrelevant. Saving guns for the next day is the cardinal sin of managing in the postseason, and Girardi's lapse cost his captain his health.<br />
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As a Yankees fan in 2012, I didn't think it was possible to feel worse than I did seeing Mariano Rivera lay crumpled on the warning track this spring. I was wrong. Now we have to suffer through three more games of this inept offense (or maybe four, I can see Sabathia willing the Yankees to one victory in this series), now absent its most reliable hitter.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-70515079991008875972012-08-02T10:23:00.002-06:002012-08-02T10:24:10.838-06:00The CaptainThurman Munson died 33 years ago today.<br />
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If he hadn't died, how would things have progressed differently in Yankees history?<br />
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<b>Would the Yankees have defended their World Series crown? </b>Probably not, since they were 14 games out of first at the time of Munson's death. But they were 10 games over .500 and made a similar comeback the year before.<br />
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<b>Would Munson have made the Hall of Fame?</b> <a href="http://cybermetric.blogspot.com/2011/08/should-thurman-munson-be-in-hall-of.html" target="_blank">Maybe.</a> As it is, he stands 14th among all-time catchers in career Wins Above Replacement (Baseball Reference version). If he had gotten lucky and aged well, put together a few more good seasons, and maybe added a World Series ring or two, he would have had a shot. His JAWS score (64.1) <a href="http://www.baseballprospectus.com/unfiltered/?p=873" target="_blank">is shy of the average Hall of Fame catcher</a> (79.9), but again, longevity would help there. He would probably have needed at least three more seasons of above-average offense to be a solid HOF candidate. <br />
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<b>Whither Rick Cerone? </b>The Yankees traded for Cerone prior to the 1980 season, and he gave them one decent year before putting together a string of miserable offensive seasons. He made an entertaining broadcast partner for Phil Rizzuto, but the Yankees would have been better off using Damaso Garcia and Chris Chambliss as trade bait for someone else.<br />
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<b>How would Yankees history have played out differently?</b> Probably vastly. Given the upgrade Munson represented over Cerone, it's entirely likely the Yankees would have added a ring in either 1980 or 1981, years in which they lost close playoffs series. Then, would George Steinbrenner have been so willing to let Reggie Jackson leave? So eager to sign Dave Winfield? Would the team have bottomed out in 1982 like they did, going through three managers in one season? Would Munson's leadership (he was the original Captain Intangibles) have saved the Yankees? Or would his combustible, abrasive qualities led to locker room destruction? It's impossible to say.<br />
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<b>Would The Psycho Fan have named his dog Thurman?</b> Definitely not.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-29447903776662725972012-05-04T11:28:00.001-06:002012-05-04T11:28:25.538-06:00Hug Your Children<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUGmxEd0VduEKUMqGT6YFqh_nM3bs1aO2YY9w7Cz-qIo2yWGtANNbHKLb5o153DJGXbBazmklEVUmz5z-8JQbgXvcNzBjWA7Jb63kA4O7e4CMtRZUAJx1yilm1t3wykLXdclfAtu-FTUPu/s1600/mariano-rivera-yankees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUGmxEd0VduEKUMqGT6YFqh_nM3bs1aO2YY9w7Cz-qIo2yWGtANNbHKLb5o153DJGXbBazmklEVUmz5z-8JQbgXvcNzBjWA7Jb63kA4O7e4CMtRZUAJx1yilm1t3wykLXdclfAtu-FTUPu/s320/mariano-rivera-yankees.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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You live your life as you think it is. You move within the world and your environment as you believe them to be. You interact with space, objects, and people as though they are givens.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>You wake up to an alarm clock. You go about your day and your routine. There are coffeeshops, cars, tap water, mountains, televisions, conversations. There is work and currency. There are emotions and needs. Human connections deepen and attachments form.<br />
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Sadness comes and goes, but this is life. This is your life. This is what you know to be true because there is no alternative. There are no other worlds, at least not ones you can choose to reside in. Hours pass. <br />
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You buy a pack of bubblegum at a convenience store. You kiss someone you love on the cheek. You admire the clothing of someone you pass. You experience music and heat and pain.<br />
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You understand intuitively what it means to be a person. It's not something you have to think about. You move how you move. Your time is your own. You read a newspaper. You pick up dry cleaning. You crack your knuckles. You straighten your hair. <br />
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Then, it all changes. It's not as if you wake up one day and everything is different. There is no night of sleep to ease the transition. One instant, everything is as it's always been. The next: you are alone, in a desert that expands farther than the eye can see. It's not even accurate to call it a desert because it has no beginning or end. There is no other landscape waiting on the other side, some untold number of miles away. This is all there is now. There is nothing else.<br />
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There is only sand. <br />
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You don't understand what has happened to you. You are utterly alone. You gasp for air but you've forgotten how to breathe. You're not in any danger of dying even as the hot sand rushes into your throat. You won't ever die because you won't ever leave this new, terrible place.<br />
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Every time you think you experience a familiar sensation -- something textural or visual or auditory -- it disappears like a mirage before you can even grasp what you were feeling. You've lost the ability to form sounds. The concept of language floats away and you just want to release a guttural grunt, but only silence comes.<br />
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Everything you knew and trusted isn't gone, it was never there in the first place. And the harder you try to remember the way things were -- just seconds ago -- the quicker the memories blanch. Now, suddenly, you don't know if you've been in this new place for moments or eons, or if there's even any difference. You just know that there's no going back.<br />
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Everything about being a human fades: the feel of your own body, the understanding of your own desires, and the knowledge of your own existence. There's only desert now, only sand and discomfort and fear. Were you ever even alive? You feel like there's something right in front of your face, and if you could only figure out what it is, and how to move your arms and grab it, that everything would make sense. But you're paralyzed and mummified and completely helpless. <br />
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You have to keep reminding yourself over and over...<br />
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This is sand.<br />
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This is sand. <br />
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Because that's all you have left.<br />
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<br />Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-46826955989390483762011-10-06T22:26:00.006-06:002011-10-07T07:06:24.468-06:00Hip Hip...I come not to bury the 2011 Yankees, but to praise Jorge Posada.<div><br /></div><div>For once in my life, I'm going to try to suppress the negativity that consumes me and take the high road. This was the most painful, frustrating, devastating Yankees defeat since 2004 (the midge game comes a close second). But I'm not going to talk about the insanity of Joe Girardi allowing the inept Russell Martin to bat in the game's highest leverage situation while Jesus Montero rotted on the bench. I'm not going to bemoan the six more years of having a crippled Alex Rodriguez on the roster. I'm not going to question the veracity of Ivan Nova's "injury," or even worry about C.C. Sabathia opting out of his contract and his diet.</div><div><br /></div><div>The biggest takeaway from tonight's game is that it was Jorge Posada's last game with the New York Yankees.</div><div><br /><a name='more'></a><br /></div><div>As much of a sentimentalist as I am, even I can't argue that the Yankees should re-sign Jorge, at least not for anything more than a non-guaranteed contract. At this point in his career, he's a rapidly declining designated hitter who can only play against right-handed pitching.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'd love to see Jorge back as a part-time DH, emergency catcher and pinch hitter, but given the Yankees' aging roster, that's not going to happen. And Posada is too prideful to accept a pity contract offer. He may very well end up with another American League team for one last hurrah. But his days as a Yankee are over.</div><div><br /></div><div>And what days they were. </div><div><br /></div><div>Posada will likely be kept out of the Hall of Fame for the same reasons that the Yankees lost this series to the Detroit Tigers. Joe Girardi, married to old school baseball reasoning, kept playing and batting Russell Martin long after it became apparent that Martin was utterly ineffective. But he was a veteran presence! He could handle a pitching staff! He had experience, for God's sake! Girardi fiddled while the Bronx burned, leaving an inferior player in the lineup because of prejudices that were long ago proven inane. </div><div><br /></div><div>When Posada first broke into the big leagues in 1997, he was already the Yankees' best catcher. But former catcher Joe Torre insisted on playing Girardi over Posada for years for those very same reasons -- experience, handling a staff, defense, blah blah blah -- costing Posada hundreds of plate appearances and counting statistics. Posada didn't become the Yankees' first-string, full-time catcher until 2000, by which point he posted a .943 OPS (!)</div><div><br /></div><div>As it is, Posada is a borderline Hall of Famer -- but he'll likely be kept on the outside looking in because the voters are married to the same kind of old-school thinking as Torre and Girardi. Had he played in all those extra games, he'd have a much better chance of breaking the glass ceiling. </div><div><br /></div><div>As it stands, Posada finishes the Yankees chapter of his career (and maybe his entire career) with an .848 OPS as a catcher, 275 home runs, 47.6 wins above replacement, and a wOBA of .366. His defense was never great, but he held his own (at least until the last couple seasons), and handled pitching staffs well enough to be a major contributor on four World Series winners, six A.L. pennant winners and 15 post-season qualifiers.</div><div><br /></div><div>Posada began his career backing up Girardi, and long toiled in the shadows of Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Alex Rodriguez, Robinson Cano and others. As such, he's probably not appreciated quite enough for his offensive contributions despite being a member of the vaunted "Core Four." </div><div><br /></div><div>In this 2011 ALDS debacle, he was nothing less than the Yankees' best hitter: taking pitches, working counts, hitting the ball hard and getting on base. In what will almost surely be his final at bat as a Yankee, he <i>almost beat out an infield singl</i>e. That's a great way to remember him: old, slow, but chugging down that damn line trying to leg out a hit and will his team to victory. He was out, and called as such by the umpire, but he almost fucking made it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Jorge Posada caught a perfect game with the Yankees. He caught the final outs of World Series victories. He delivered clutch playoff hits. He caught the vast majority of Mariano Rivera's record number of saves. But that was how it ended: Posada waddling toward first as fast as his 40-year-old, beat-up legs would take him, desperately trying to start a rally. As he crossed his first, he flung his arms out to signal "Safe!" even though he knew he was out. He knew flinging his arms out wouldn't compel the ump to allow him to remain on first base, but he just wanted it so much. </div><div><br /></div><div>Goodbye, Jorgie. You were a flawed but great baseball player. It's been a privilege to watch you for so many years, so many games, so many at bats. You gave a damn as much as anyone on the Yankees over the last decade and a half. You were one of the greatest offensive catchers of all time. That's a luxury we've taken for granted. Now, if Montero or Romine don't develop as catchers, we could be in for years of Martins, Cervellis, Molinas and the like. Then we'll remember how good we had it.<br /><br />As <a href="http://www.nj.com/yankees/index.ssf/2011/10/yankees_jorge_posada_may_have.html">Mike Vorkunov points out</a>, you kept a picture of Thurman Munson taped to your locker. That tells us all we really need to know about you.<br /></div>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-37694937633876448282011-10-06T21:56:00.001-06:002011-10-06T21:57:53.611-06:00Thanks for Everything, Jorgie<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt56s0dqZxdpo3Txl27u1PBxCBGJ_urvmk0fu4wlanDHh_ReScy6XfXI9mM8BKP0JwuBhniHXzAEQnJRRRbdzBhX7ruGPUEnwt3CPweWWO_HnkzbIiC_dGqSOqLCkgeaQeohzAiSOnWjFl/s1600/IMG_0688.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt56s0dqZxdpo3Txl27u1PBxCBGJ_urvmk0fu4wlanDHh_ReScy6XfXI9mM8BKP0JwuBhniHXzAEQnJRRRbdzBhX7ruGPUEnwt3CPweWWO_HnkzbIiC_dGqSOqLCkgeaQeohzAiSOnWjFl/s400/IMG_0688.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660594308873013650" /></a>"To tell the truth, this could be the last time..."Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-41578336686558375582011-10-05T06:48:00.001-06:002011-10-05T06:50:33.550-06:00Here's to You, A.J.<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/t9XEsBrYl8E" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-40278226368838928012011-10-04T07:12:00.004-06:002011-10-04T09:45:16.895-06:00An A.J. Burnett Elimination GameAnd so it was written. And so it has come to pass.<br /><br />Ever since the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">rainout</span> on Friday night, this series has unfolded with the inevitability of a Rube Goldberg contraption. The little ball had started rolling, it was about to knock into some lever, a chicken was going to lay an egg, and eventually A.J. Burnett would start an elimination game. You could see it happening but could do nothing to prevent it.<br /><br />The Yankees' lack of foresight has led us here: first including A.J. Burnett on the post-season roster, and then a series of Joe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Girardi</span> moves that harmed the team in two winnable games.<br /><br />But here we are.<br /><br />It's dark. It's freezing cold. We've reached our end.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_xn5x6X37uSj7GSWc9Cs58rxzvrRYdczIFg_SWukAHgik30lP-yKXLQbgqocmSP-cxxMmtva0QGPLDmEKGwQgM4AxX6wq1FPL843XX_DVGNNvkFkNNbN1mSi-sxShOLWYJulP0Wm5Gdp1/s1600/NY_DN.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 256px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_xn5x6X37uSj7GSWc9Cs58rxzvrRYdczIFg_SWukAHgik30lP-yKXLQbgqocmSP-cxxMmtva0QGPLDmEKGwQgM4AxX6wq1FPL843XX_DVGNNvkFkNNbN1mSi-sxShOLWYJulP0Wm5Gdp1/s320/NY_DN.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659650962890687506" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />Waking up the morning of an A.J. Burnett elimination game is like being a time traveler bound by the rules of The Butterfly Effect -- so you can travel back into the past, but can't do anything to change events as they occur.<br /><br />We are forced to go back in time to witness history's greatest tragedies and disasters but we are powerless to stop them. Look: the Hindenburg is going down. Over there: the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Enola</span> Gay is approaching Hiroshima. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Sirhan</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Sirhan</span> is wrapping a poster around his revolver. And look: rats carrying plague-infested fleas are crawling onto merchant ships headed toward Europe. Lo: worst of all, a blond figure approaches a pitching mound in Detroit, ball in hand.<br /><br />This season, A.J. Burnett put up the following stunning numbers:<br /><br />1.43 WHIP<br />3.9 BB/9<br />5.15 ERA<br />17% HR/<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Flyball</span> Rate<br /><br />And now, the season rests on his "electric" right arm, bottle blond head and empty brain.<br /><br />After last night's game, Burnett said: “I had good games, bad games during the season. You can say the same thing about the postseason, but you can’t count me out. I’m going to bring everything I’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ve</span> got, and just let A.J. loose out there."<br /><br />Wonderful. I shudder to think what letting A.J. loose comprises. Will it lead to a 30-run inning for the Tigers?<br /><br />Regardless, at least the hope is gone. There's no more stress, because there's no possibility of things turning out other than they will. A.J. Burnett is going to ruin the Yankees' season, again, as he was always meant to do. Free will is dead.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-43972207187724772992011-10-03T09:00:00.003-06:002011-10-03T09:21:00.386-06:00Fire Joseph Elliott GirardiLet's leave aside for the moment that Joe Girardi and the Yankees brain trust elected to include the incompetent A.J. Burnett on the post-season roster and that now Burnett is in a position to decide the Yankees season.<br /><br />(What's that? You can't leave that aside? It's consuming you? It's created a fire of rage within you that can't be extinguished? Huh.)<br /><br />Steven Goldman at <a href="http://www.pinstripedbible.com/">Pinstriped Bible</a> calls Girardi's playoffs manifestation "Coffee Joe" because the Yankees' manager gets hyper in the post-season and overthinks the game. And Coffee Joe was at his caffeinated worst yesterday in guiding the Yankees to a 5-3 defeat to Detroit at home.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxMYjdDs_XHDe7g3P8nvA6cxL834pHecsso3WyVVmA7H2GuqQ7pd-ItL0C4TElgwMo_htEIWAQ8mCJrnezu8QEzVuZ12TKQEJy0U0PNBZFz4g0MQd0UtDp32s3SGsDM2KJIhvo6701Fk5M/s1600/10girardi.1.600.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 246px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxMYjdDs_XHDe7g3P8nvA6cxL834pHecsso3WyVVmA7H2GuqQ7pd-ItL0C4TElgwMo_htEIWAQ8mCJrnezu8QEzVuZ12TKQEJy0U0PNBZFz4g0MQd0UtDp32s3SGsDM2KJIhvo6701Fk5M/s400/10girardi.1.600.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659282469776554562" border="0" /></a><br />First, down 4-0 in the 7th inning with two on and one out, Girardi pinch hit Eric Chavez for Brett Gardner -- a move he never made all season and would never make in any regular season. Chavez, who has shown almost no power this season (80:1 AB/HR ratio), predictably struck out. Girardi's explanation? "Just hoping he might pop one." Uh huh.<br /><br />Then, in the 9th inning, down 4-1, Girardi elected to send his single worst non-Burnett pitcher to the mound. Again predictably, Luis Ayala yielded a run and the Yankees batted in the 9th down 5-1. When they inevitably rallied, that extra run really didn't help. Neither did Andruw Jones batting against a right-hander instead of Gardner.<br /><br />Why, why, why pitch Ayala? It's indefensible. David Robertson and Rafael Soriano hadn't pitched since Tuesday? Was a 4-1 deficit so insurmountable (with one of the game's best offenses) that Girardi felt the need to throw up the white flag? When three losses will end your season, maybe you shouldn't give one away so easily.<br /><br />Can't wait to see what Coffee Joe does tonight.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-66876212845482964892011-10-01T09:23:00.003-06:002011-10-01T09:29:11.536-06:00Girardi Plans, God LaughsThe Yankees showed incredible short-sightedness when they included Master of Disaster A.J. Burnett on their post-season roster, and now that mistake could very well end their season.<div><br /></div><div>There was no legitimate reason to carry Burnett on the roster save to spare the psychotic hurler's very expensive feelings. If Burnett had gotten into a game on the Division Series' planned schedule, that would have meant the Yankees were getting blown out -- in which chase, who cares who pitched? </div><div><br /></div><div>But, as 24 different games this year have shown, rain was likely to impact this cold-weather series. And the Yankees were caught with their pants around their ankles when Mother Nature came a-knockin'. If a game were rained out (which happened), or if a starter got injured (also possible), the team knew they'd need a fourth starter. Yet they didn't carry Bartolo Colon, who was significantly better than Burnett all season. </div><div><br /></div><div>You'll hear a lot of justification about how Burnett was good down the stretch, but if you look at Fielding Independent Pitching, he was no better than the rest of the season. He basically pitched one good start against Boston in a meaningless game the last week of the season. The rest of the 162-game schedule, the guy was a walking, blond gopher-ball machine. And now he might decide the fate of the season.</div><div><br /></div><div>There is no excuse for this kind of poor planning from Joe Girardi and Brian Cashman.</div>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-39965867166322652392011-09-29T08:03:00.001-06:002011-09-29T08:05:28.185-06:00Maybe Not So Much?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqcj9UhDpq9ZKvg4zWaQHU4pGGZEYZLmBFyLiyeaih2JWElOAH6rbEU05RP2G-ztzOizmAixv1kz63hJ_PjJTY9Z5GH2g0NopC9qn0Q5jn02CRJEdJIa-zzAQcNQ-z6Yq2Q0hl8OsS8L5U/s1600/red+sox+best+team+in+baseball+2011.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 369px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqcj9UhDpq9ZKvg4zWaQHU4pGGZEYZLmBFyLiyeaih2JWElOAH6rbEU05RP2G-ztzOizmAixv1kz63hJ_PjJTY9Z5GH2g0NopC9qn0Q5jn02CRJEdJIa-zzAQcNQ-z6Yq2Q0hl8OsS8L5U/s400/red+sox+best+team+in+baseball+2011.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657781948512768034" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">* Also -- "Newbury Street's Frozen Yogurt Wars"? Ha ha ha ha ha</span>. <span style="font-style: italic;">Good city. Good newspaper.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">** Also -- congratulations to the 2011 A.L. Eastern Division Champion New York Yankees. I've said it before, and I hope to say it again, but this never gets old.</span>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-58200240602255529022011-09-26T07:06:00.003-06:002011-09-26T07:35:55.652-06:00Oh, Joe.Joe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Girardi</span>, haven't you ever seen a horror movie? When you have the terrible, mutilated creature on the ground, you fucking step on its throat. Then you chop its head off. Then you throw the head into a vat of hydrochloric acid. Then you pour the vat of acid into the East River. That's what you do.<br /><br />Look, I know that technically the Yankees had nothing to play for last night. They've clinched the division, they've clinched home field, there's nothing more to clinch. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Girardi</span> didn't want anyone to get hurt. I get it.<br /><br />But he and the Yankees had a chance to absolutely bury the Red <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Sox</span> and they didn't do it. Something tells me that decision is going to come back to haunt them. Leave aside the rivalry and the recent history between the teams. Forget about it. What matters is this: the Red <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Sox</span> are probably still the best team in the American League. Do you want the Yankees to face them in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ALCS</span>?<br /><br />Yes, they're in an awful slide. But they started out the season 2-10 and then caught fire. In a short series, Jon Lester and Josh Beckett are better than any duo the Yankees can come up with. Boston's lineup is at least the Yankees' equal, and their closer has been unimpeachable. Despite everything, I still think that if they get in the playoffs, they're the most likely A.L. World Series representative.<br /><br />And not only did <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Girardi's</span> unwillingness to go for the kill give Boston a one-game lead, it gave them momentum and a hook to hang their "team of destiny" underdog bullshit story on.<br /><br />Austin <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Romine</span> with the game on the line? With <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ARod</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Jeter</span> on the bench? Scott Proctor to lose it, again? (Please, won't someone put poor star-crossed Scott out of his misery?) The Yankees are 4-11 in extra-innings games this year. Normally, I'd write that off as a small-sample-sized fluke -- but not having seen <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Girardi's</span> decision-making process. He continually allows his best pitcher to sit in the bullpen, saving him for a lead that won't ever come. He uses pitchers and hitters who aren't the best he has available. In extra-inning games, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Girardi</span> becomes a liability to the team.<br /><br />Now he's given Boston life. Let's hope he doesn't live to regret it.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-52501175459662197192011-09-02T11:56:00.003-06:002011-09-02T12:35:22.471-06:00The Return: A Short StorySeptember 1, 2011, Boston, MA
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<br />The car sped by the ballpark in a flash, barely pausing to open the rear passenger side door and toss the package out on the street.
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<br />The package landed with a bone-crushing thud on the pavement, a large mass covered in old quilts and tied with twine. The package began to shift and move on the ground.
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<br />The quilts were thrown aside and a cloaked, hooded figure emerged. The hunched, wretched creature shuffled toward the clubhouse door. Not recognizably human, it moved forward only with intense effort.
<br />
<br />It entered the clubhouse unnoticed and paused in the middle of the room, its face and head completely swaddled. After several minutes, the trainer, Gene Monahan came upon the figure and asked what its business was. The creature grunted, almost inaudibly. Assuming it was a sick, homeless man who had wandered in off the street, Monahan asked assistant trainer Steve Donohue to fetch some warm soup. Monahan gently began to peel away layers of rags until finally the creature straightened and revealed its craggy face from under a mound of unwashed hair.
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<br />"My God!" gasped Monahan. A crowd quickly gathered around.
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<br />"Are you..." said someone.
<br />
<br />"Is that..." said someone.
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<br />"Scott? Scott Proctor? Is that you?" said Monahan.
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<br />The creature cleared its throat and spoke. "I...I was called that once, yes. Scott. That is my name. Scott."
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<br /><a name='more'></a>
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<br />"I can't believe it's really you!" said Donahue. "We thought you were lost forever! Where have you been?"
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<br />"I...I can't remember all of it," said Proctor. "There was cold...I remember cold. And darkness. And unfathomable horrors and evil. But mostly, I remember this."
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<br />Proctor rolled up his right sleeve to reveal a monstrosity of a limb, something that could only be called an "arm" in the most clinical definition of that term. It was withered, and only a third the size of his good arm. It had freakish, Frankenstein-like bolts coming out of the elbow, and raised red scars running the length of the whole thing. Random lumps grew and receded like bubbles, and worst of all, the entire arm seemed to hang from the shoulder by one vulnerable, shredded tendon.
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<br />"Oh, Scott," Monahan said. "You really think you can still pitch with that?
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<br />"Yes, Geno," said Proctor. "I've been rehabbing for five years, and my velocity is up to 73 mph on the fastball. I really think I can help this team. It's been a long and terrible road, but I'm finally back where I belong."
<br />
<br />Proctor's eyes flooded with tears, and his teammates rushed to embrace him in a gentle, loving group hug. Just then, the clubhouse door opened again.
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<br />Major League Baseball's Executive Vice President of Operations Joe Torre strolled in, whistling a jaunty tune from old Italy.
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<br />"Hey everyone, how ya doin'?" he said. "Bud wanted me here for the big series with the Red Sox to keep an eye on the umpires and all that, but I wanted to say hello. Jeet, how ya doin'? Mo, lookin' good."
<br />
<br />"Hey Mr. Torre," Derek Jeter said. "Look who's here! Look who's back!"
<br />
<br />He turned to put his arm around Proctor, but the creature was gone. He vanished without a sound, and without anyone seeing him leave. The creature faded back into darkness.
<br />Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-2053060785421128802011-08-31T11:28:00.004-06:002011-08-31T11:51:29.237-06:00That's Cervelli!After his heroics and agitations against the Red Sox last night, Francisco Cervilli managed an even more impressive feat in post-game interviews: <a href="http://web.yesnetwork.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=18632875&topic_id=&tcid=vpp_copy_18632875&v=3">he broke the vaunted and long-held Backup Catcher Third Person barrier</a>.
<br />
<br />"That's Cervelli," he said, describing his emotive behavior on the field. Indeed.
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<br />Coming this fall to ABC! Wednesdays at 8:30, after Cougartown, catch American's hottest new sitcom, "That's Cervelli!"
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<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicUTLLM7OtVzb7JARQ30CNddLBEPIndo2oZKLB6xcxMiHw1ImW9K-0QEA8X24dEVdgUXjGt9MdLH3ACuRFYIo3KCCZvSgA82OkoJTSCOM793N10G0KpZYOd_iTKH_P541o1HfSwr_kCtre/s1600/cervelli.mask_1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicUTLLM7OtVzb7JARQ30CNddLBEPIndo2oZKLB6xcxMiHw1ImW9K-0QEA8X24dEVdgUXjGt9MdLH3ACuRFYIo3KCCZvSgA82OkoJTSCOM793N10G0KpZYOd_iTKH_P541o1HfSwr_kCtre/s400/cervelli.mask_1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5647077074087830338" border="0" /></a>
<br />Watch the hilarity that ensues when Francisco Cervelli finds himself in some pretty wacky situations:
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<br /><ul><li>Francisco Cervelli's wife wants him to fix the toilet -- but he just wants to watch football!</li><li>Francisco Cervelli has two dates to the prom -- and they're twin sisters Tia and Tamara!</li><li>Francisco Cervelli has to babysit -- for a mischievous Jack Russell terrier!</li><li>Francisco Cervelli gets a new job -- posing nude at the local art school!</li><li>Francisco Cervelli claps when he hits a home run -- and gets drilled in the back by John Lackey!
<br /></li></ul>
<br />Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-46554541857108617322011-08-28T10:44:00.003-06:002011-08-28T11:18:54.150-06:00The Most Hated Yankee IndexListen. Sometimes you just need to take 16 months off from blogging about the Yankees, OK? Sometimes shit happens. Sometimes you start <a href="http://popculturehasaids.wordpress.com/">writing other blogs</a>, and occasionally <a href="http://popculturehasaids.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/hitting-the-objective-pipe/">vent about the Yankees over there</a>. <div>
<br /></div><div>And sometimes a player drives you so batshit insane with rage that you have to return to your home to write about him there.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Sometimes A.J. Burnett happens.</div><div><a name='more'></a>
<br /></div><div><a href="http://thepsychofan.blogspot.com/2008/12/weve-made-huge-mistake.html">Most of us knew</a> that the Burnett signing was a potentially disastrous idea in that fateful winter of 2008. We lived with the ups and downs of Burnett in 2009, and we lived with him single-handedly losing a crucial World Series game, because the team's success distracted us from what an ill-conceived signing Burnett actually was.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>The other shoe dropped in 2010, and this year, that shoe has kicked us in the face so many teams we look like that lady who got her face eaten by a chimp. Pre-surgery.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Burnett is an awful pitcher -- <a href="http://www.pinstripedbible.com/2011/08/22/facing-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/">one of the worst full-time starters in baseball</a> -- and he's paid like one of the best. That part's not his fault; we all take as much money as we can get. Neither is it Burnett's fault that both Joe Girardi and Brian Cashman have shown a maddening predilection to defend him even when he's indefensible. Yankees brass insults the intelligence of every fan who pays to see the team when they claim that Burnett was yelling about a pitch call when Girardi pulled him from the Twins game, or that he's "pitching like a quality starter."</div><div>
<br /></div><div>What is Burnett's fault, though, is his awful performance and his dense reaction to said performance. For someone with such "<a href="http://nomaas.org/tag/electric-stuff/">electric stuff</a>," he sure seems unwilling to tinker with his mechanics to try to improve his results. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>After each game in which he doesn't give his team a chance to win, he tells the media that he's "out there battling," and that he'll get better next time. A.J. Burnett is full of shit.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>As such, he's rapidly ascending my personal list of the most loathsome Yankee of all time. Or at least of my lifetime. Here's where we're at right now.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>1. Kevin Brown</div><div>2. Randy Johnson</div><div>3. A.J. Burnett</div><div>4. Carl Pavano</div><div>5. Roger Clemens</div><div>6. Ruben Sierra</div><div>7. Kyle Farnsworth</div><div>8. Luis Polonia</div><div>9. Mel Hall</div><div>10. Chad Curtis</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Wow. In just a short time, Burnett has already skyrocketed past a cheater, a rapist and Carl Pavano. Truly impressive. And Randy Johnson is no doubt feeling nervous and looking over his shoulder as the playoffs approach.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>
<br /></div>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-48207836145914476632010-04-27T08:41:00.005-06:002010-04-27T09:49:06.260-06:00Dallas Braden: Moral Guardian of the Grand GameINT. CLUBHOUSE – DAY<p></p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">A’s pitcher Dallas Braden sits in his locker, surrounded by reporters.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">REPORTER<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal">Can you tell us what happened out there, Dallas?</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> (spits tobacco on ground)<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Look, Hoss. That’s my mound out there. Mine. Know what I’m sayin’? And I don’t care if you’re some big star or somethin’, that’s my mound, and you can’t be on there. There’s like a big ol’ No Trespassing sign on there. And ain’t nobody setting foot on my mound while I’m out there.<br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"> (dribbles tobacco down chin)<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> It’s an unwritten baseball rule, y’all.<br /></p><div style="text-align: center;"> (stares into camera)<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> And ain’t nobody breaking no rules while ol’ Dallas is in spittin’ distance.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKI738knpuDdbSyYFb9UdJnGmj9Q5m-f_ZTRwEtEYecXhcmwvj10h7R01SSnlVjTmqin9q4KaIw-8vxa44S-5wCGOdmzhv-XTgxSTb59kudvG2SSKPW6lEKnG4dBhVDUfK6rojNfmYvT4Q/s1600/dallasbraden.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 90px; height: 135px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKI738knpuDdbSyYFb9UdJnGmj9Q5m-f_ZTRwEtEYecXhcmwvj10h7R01SSnlVjTmqin9q4KaIw-8vxa44S-5wCGOdmzhv-XTgxSTb59kudvG2SSKPW6lEKnG4dBhVDUfK6rojNfmYvT4Q/s400/dallasbraden.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5464843694136940786" border="0" /></a></p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Roll Opening Credits: Diamond Dallas Braden is THE PROTECTOR. Only on CBS.</p><p style="text-align: right;" class="MsoNormal">CUT TO:<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">EXT. DODGER STADIUM – DAY</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Clayton Kershaw stands on the mound. The scoreboard shows that he has allowed no hits to the Astros through 8 innings, and the Dodgers lead the Astros 2-0. Houston outfielder Michael Bourn stands at the plate to lead off the ninth. Kershaw stares in for the sign, then winds and delivers. Bourn whips his bat out in front of the plate and lays a beautiful surprise bunt down the third base line. He races for first as Dodgers third baseman Casey Blake charges the ball. Bourn gets a great jump out of the box and it looks like he’ll be safe by a mile. Blake then juggles the ball as he tries to pick it up. Bourn is just two steps from first when…</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Aw HELLLL NOOOOOOOOO!</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Dallas Braden leaps out of the crowd, charges onto the field and tackles Bourn before he can reach first base. He pins Bourn to the ground with his arm on throat. Bourn looks up at him in disbelief as Blake tosses to first for the out.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">MICHAEL BOURN<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> What the fuck? What are you even doing here? You’re on the A’s.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Unwritten rule, homey. You don’t try to bunt to break up a no-hitter. Not on my fuckin’ watch.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">MICHAEL BOURN<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> We’re only down two runs, asshole. I’m just trying to get on base.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> (spits tobacco into Bourn’s mouth)<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> You shut your punk mouth, faggot. Ain’t you got your copy of Baseball’s Unwritten Rules (King James version)? Ain’t no buntin’ in a no-hitter. </p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Dallas pulls a walkie-talkie out of his back pocket.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Hey partner….<a href="http://thepsychofan.blogspot.com/2008/05/when-i-perish-david-dellucci-will-judge.html">Hey David</a>. We got a live one here. We’re gonna have to send him to County lockup to cool his buntin’ heels.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">INT. DOME – NIGHT</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Carl Crawford leads off first base. The scoreboard shows that Tampa is beating Toronto 6-1 in the bottom of the 7<sup>th</sup> inning. The Blue Jays pitcher comes set and goes into his windup. Crawford breaks for second and steals the bag, easily beating the catcher’s throw. He stands on second base, dusting himself off when he feels something strange, then looks down to see a patch of blood seeping through his uniform pant leg. He crumples to the ground in pain, and looks helplessly at the umpires while Alex Gonzalez tags him out.</p><p style="text-align: right;" class="MsoNormal">CUT TO:<br /></p> <div style="text-align: center;">CARL CRAWFORD<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> What…what happened?</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Dallas Braden strolls onto the field, holding a Winchester rifle against his leg.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Aw hell no, bitch.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">CARL CRAWFORD<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Did you…did you just shoot me?</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> You’re fuckin’ right I shot you, little bitch. I fuckin’ sniped you in your little bitch leg, you bet your sweet Aunt Fanny.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">CARL CRAWFORD<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> (bleeding;sobbing)<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Why???</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> You done broke an unwritten rule of the game. Can’t be no stealin’ of bases when your team’s got a big lead. Ain’t right.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">CARL CRAWFORD<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> It’s only a five-run lead! They could come back!</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Dallas shoots Carl Crawford in the other leg.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> That there’s what we Protectors call a preventative measure. Or a deterrent. Or some shit.</p><p style="text-align: right;" class="MsoNormal">CUT TO:<br /></p> <p style="text-align: left;" class="MsoNormal">EXT. STADIUM – DAY</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Washington’s Ian Desmond stands at the plate in the midst of a Nationals-Phillies game. Roy Halladay is set to pitch and looks in for the sign, then goes into his windup. Desmond gets something caught in his contact lens and steps out of the batters box.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">IAN DESMOND<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Time, ump!</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Dallas Braden strolls onto the field, walks up to Ian Desmond, and puts his arm around him.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> How ya doin’ rook?</p> <div style="text-align: center;">IAN DESMOND<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Hey Dallas, what the heck are you doing here? Last time I saw you was in Chatanooga, Double A, right? How you been?</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> I been fine, rook. Just fine. </p> <div style="text-align: center;">IAN DESMOND<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> That’s great to hear. Man, I sure am glad we’re in different leagues. I hate facing your two-seamer.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Right, right, right. I got a question to pose to you, rook. What in the Sam Hell do you think you’re doing?</p> <div style="text-align: center;">IAN DESMOND<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Huh?</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Steppin’ out of the hitters box like that. What in the Sam Hell was that all about? You got your panties up in a ruffle, boy? Need to get out of there in a hurry or somethin’?</p> <div style="text-align: center;">IAN DESMOND<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> What? No, I just had something in my eye. Where did you even come from? Aren’t the A’s playing in Detroit right now?</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> (whispering into Ian Desmond’s ear)<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Shh, shh, shh. You hush your mouth now, pretty boy. Ain’t you seen that Roy up there had already done gone into his pitching motion? Ain’t you heard the unwritten rule that you can’t be steppin’ out of the hitters box once the pitcher’s done gone into his motion?</p> <div style="text-align: center;">IAN DESMOND<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> Yeah, but I couldn’t see anything…I asked for time…</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> AW HELLL NOOOOO. I told you to hush up. Now here’s what I’mma do. Since this is your first offense, I’mma give you like a warning. But if you ever, EVER break one of the unwritten rules again, I’mma come into your parents’ house in the middle o’ the night. And I’mma creep up them stairs while they’re snoozing away, all peaceful-like. Then, I’mma stab your Daddy in the gut with my Bowie knife. And while he feels the last traces of life slipping away from him, I’mma make him watch as I get all romantic-like with your Momma. I’mma do it with her all sweet and gentle like while your Daddy bleeds out all over the bed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Dallas looks directly at the camera again.</p> <div style="text-align: center;">DALLAS<br /></div><p class="MsoNormal"> ‘Cause I’m Diamond Dallas Braden – The Protector!</p> <p style="text-align: right;" class="MsoNormal">FADE OUT.</p>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-36880232392767624592010-04-26T15:11:00.000-06:002010-04-26T15:13:45.742-06:00Can I Vote For Him Twice in 2012?<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>“What people tend to forget,” President Obama said. “Especially after watching their teams lose, is that being a Yankee is as much about character as it is about performance; as much about who you are as what you do. Being successful in New York doesn’t come easy, and it’s not for everybody. It takes a certain kind of player to thrive in the pressure cooker of Yankee Stadium -– somebody who is poised and professional, and knows what it takes to wear the pinstripes. It takes somebody who appreciates how lucky he is, and who feels a responsibility for those who are less fortunate.” <br/><br/><div class='zemanta-pixie'><img src='http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=3e0b749e-e38f-8e59-a0e9-c5f154ff113f' alt='' class='zemanta-pixie-img'/></div></div>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-34674870041237755252010-04-05T15:03:00.002-06:002010-04-05T15:06:25.195-06:00Opening Day Book RecommendationWe need something to wash the taste of last night's game out of out mouths, don't we? And something to distract us from the fact that Neil Diamond is now dead to us? (Sidenote to Bostonians: You're not all living inside the movie "Beautiful Girls.")<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVDbU6iASHmSlua-rZgD4gzXl6Rfkh6K6uJKsQGli_CbvRsdABrRmYN7aKF8f-33OVhoufXXc8A0x9oEXVdTsNI3p5AeYLNlrrtmhvuEPHkUis9JSmwRLftilDl06D9IGhap3rAAwgbj2R/s1600/diamond-neil-photo-neil-diamond-6227147.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 220px; height: 276px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVDbU6iASHmSlua-rZgD4gzXl6Rfkh6K6uJKsQGli_CbvRsdABrRmYN7aKF8f-33OVhoufXXc8A0x9oEXVdTsNI3p5AeYLNlrrtmhvuEPHkUis9JSmwRLftilDl06D9IGhap3rAAwgbj2R/s320/diamond-neil-photo-neil-diamond-6227147.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456762549360130850" border="0" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,'Times New Roman','Bitstream Charter',Times,serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">Well go check out the<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.emmaspan.com/" mce_href="http://www.emmaspan.com/">spiffy new site</a><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>of Psycho Fan favorite Emma Span. And while you're at it...<a href="http://www.amazon.com/90-Game-Half-Mental-Baseball/dp/0345501756" mce_href="http://www.amazon.com/90-Game-Half-Mental-Baseball/dp/0345501756">buy her new book</a>.</span></span>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-40986905267906495352010-04-05T14:51:00.002-06:002010-04-05T14:57:51.519-06:00The New Public Enemy No. 1Get out your darts, kids. Here's one for your bullseye:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5C1fNhfo0wEFg1Nr6a4O99itdNb5RDrypEtb5cxCJNXmomzYskB1rZp0vPC1PtfXGIs-nh1jQ8QjDm3bo6hF8mrnBUafVoLC5x6QppqI7zsMlwA2mOZxoEBvMTLT9N2ZIpN_2bLp1_6F/s1600/Colorado+Rockies+v+Los+Angeles+Dodgers+FU1rKKjMPjal.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5C1fNhfo0wEFg1Nr6a4O99itdNb5RDrypEtb5cxCJNXmomzYskB1rZp0vPC1PtfXGIs-nh1jQ8QjDm3bo6hF8mrnBUafVoLC5x6QppqI7zsMlwA2mOZxoEBvMTLT9N2ZIpN_2bLp1_6F/s320/Colorado+Rockies+v+Los+Angeles+Dodgers+FU1rKKjMPjal.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5456759152783440402" border="0" /></a><br />Brian Cashman shouldn't have signed Chan Ho Park. But Joe Girardi certainly shouldn't be relying on him late in a two-run game at Fenway Park.<br /><br />Last night was a Joe Torre special, a bullpen mismanagement worthy of Girardi's predecessor. Park has a WHIP of 1.40 and an EqERA of 4.61 last year...in the National League. His career stats aren't any better. What about that screams "Can succeed in the A.L. East"?<br /><br />Guys fail. Guys blow games. It happens. But it enrages me when managers don't give their team the best possible chance to win a game -- it's really not that difficult. There was no reason for Girardi to pull David Robertson after two batters (shades of the ALCS).<br /><br />And just like that...the Era of Good Feeling is over.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-68785428109338507242010-02-22T14:33:00.004-06:002010-02-22T14:41:59.260-06:00Affleck and Damon to Star in Peterson/Kekich Film<a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/damon-and-affleck-may-swap-spouses-in-warner-bros,38418/">Who the huh?</a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fritz:</span> Do you like apples?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mike:</span> Yeah<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fritz:</span> Well I fucked your wife. How you like them apples?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mike:</span> Well I fucked yours. How you like <span style="font-style: italic;">them</span> apples?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mike:</span> Look - you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, with your own wife, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat; now, that's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill you. Instead, you better be livin' in <span style="font-style: italic;">my</span> house, with <span style="font-style: italic;">my </span>wife.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;" class="fine">Mike reads a note from Fritz:</span><i class="fine"> "Mike, if the GM calls about that job, just tell him, sorry, I have to go see about a girl. And that girl is your wife."</i>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-16289581109137517912010-02-22T14:28:00.003-06:002010-02-22T14:33:03.380-06:00Yankees Sign Righty Kei Igawa<a href="http://riveraveblues.com/2010/02/what-does-the-chan-ho-park-signing-mean-for-the-rest-of-the-bullpen-24196/">What the what?</a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN-WQ5O8B36OF_IfUkOjedFMgQFL4lXy15LP81GuKah3O4cDCu5GHUIDy2IO_6JGFaYz9G5kTvSipSNqJJ_JocDYr3iuWQbVjKfYzx058cbeCm69h6KjwVQEk0KWLK990yhZQnZ-MwTace/s1600-h/Colorado+Rockies+v+Los+Angeles+Dodgers+FU1rKKjMPjal.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN-WQ5O8B36OF_IfUkOjedFMgQFL4lXy15LP81GuKah3O4cDCu5GHUIDy2IO_6JGFaYz9G5kTvSipSNqJJ_JocDYr3iuWQbVjKfYzx058cbeCm69h6KjwVQEk0KWLK990yhZQnZ-MwTace/s200/Colorado+Rockies+v+Los+Angeles+Dodgers+FU1rKKjMPjal.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441168412327032466" border="0" /></a>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-57301581602344531312009-11-05T14:20:00.003-06:002009-11-05T14:21:59.933-06:00Glory Days<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikxvrslIC9QWWqjCK3Cbghyphenhyphen9qE4zN-fe6AbMAAxpjKihf6V4LEvh41gtslTXhQb6ZJia0Zud3CDfO99xDtNyMlWF80kQKwID7uGpSnkKfszqZMNP6s-QIxYWjscgIfbLRyXW-QfIL-dIBk/s1600-h/capt.ws211050501.world_series_phillies_yankees_baseball_ws2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 289px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikxvrslIC9QWWqjCK3Cbghyphenhyphen9qE4zN-fe6AbMAAxpjKihf6V4LEvh41gtslTXhQb6ZJia0Zud3CDfO99xDtNyMlWF80kQKwID7uGpSnkKfszqZMNP6s-QIxYWjscgIfbLRyXW-QfIL-dIBk/s400/capt.ws211050501.world_series_phillies_yankees_baseball_ws2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5400717411978506498" border="0" /></a>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-62451404084671607882009-11-05T10:43:00.003-06:002009-11-05T11:02:59.309-06:0027I feel kind of tingly all over. I don't understand what's happening to me. Oh wait...is this...no, it couldn't be. Is this....is it....happiness?<br /><br />My favorite things about last night, in no particular order:<br /><ul><li>Derek Jeter hugging a besuited Paul O'Neill, and bringing a tiny tear to my eye</li><li>Marion Rivera saying he was thinking of retiring, but now he wants to play five more years, then cackling and jumping up and down</li><li>The satisfied look on Hideki Matsui's face</li><li>Nick Swisher celebrating exactly how you would expect Nick Swisher to celebrate.</li><li>The knowledge that there's never been a pitcher in the history of baseball that you would feel as confident bringing in to get the last five outs of the World Series than Rivera</li><li>That once again, no one let Bloomberg speak</li><li>Seeing all the fringe guys spray champagne and act like maniacs -- the Sergio Mitres, the Ramiro Penas, the training staff...</li><li>Beating Pedro, one last time for old time's sake</li><li>Not having to listen to Buck and McCarver for another year</li><li>Seeing the World Series trophy in the arms of Derek Jeter. Where it belongs.</li><li>The immediate reaction from Yankees haters across the land: "Payroll! Waaaaah!"</li><li>This fucking feeling, back again</li></ul><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpaS1DwGhZtWVgEe8cdEXbWru5qiPbu-fDQ5iJD5YdYZMIejcSiaOkMGdyYQhbFGxDZjYTDPFOa36Yir8bq0FGSO5lMZVUAM7244QS4DKcJpixUpWJo7BTcUarDTiCVTmV-ke4Gr6oOEqj/s1600-h/small-GameSix105.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 273px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpaS1DwGhZtWVgEe8cdEXbWru5qiPbu-fDQ5iJD5YdYZMIejcSiaOkMGdyYQhbFGxDZjYTDPFOa36Yir8bq0FGSO5lMZVUAM7244QS4DKcJpixUpWJo7BTcUarDTiCVTmV-ke4Gr6oOEqj/s400/small-GameSix105.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5400665593908883106" border="0" /></a><br />People at work keep congratulating me like I had a baby. What they don't understand is...this is better.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-75608394735048081682009-11-03T10:36:00.004-06:002009-11-03T10:46:22.911-06:00Game 5 ReduxSo that's two consecutive Game Fives wherein A.J. Burnett essentially took the Yankees out of the game in the second inning.<br /><br />All things considered, the Yankees probably got more than they could have hoped for this year out of Burnett. He was, stunningly, healthy all year, he was wildly inconsistent, and his final numbers <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/b/burnea.01.shtml">were right in line with his career totals</a>.<br /><br />But the problem with Burnett, and the reason I was opposed to giving him $80 million, is that when he's Bad A.J., he single-handedly destroys your chances to win the game. I'd rather have a pitcher whose overall numbers aren't quite as strong, but who gives his team a chance to compete more often.<br /><br />The Yankees' lack of a fourth started could be their downfall in this World Series. The injury to Wang and the decline of Joba are coming back to damage this team.<br /><br />It's a minor miracle that the Yankees are leading this series, given that:<br /><ul><li>Burnett handed a game to the Phillies</li><li>The bullpen outside of Rivera has been terrible</li><li>Mark Teixeira is nowhere to be found</li><li>Robinson Cano is nowhere to be found</li><li>C.C. Sabathia hasn't been dominant</li><li>Jose Molina has started two games</li></ul>The Yankees have been carried by a few great performances (Rivera, ARod, Jeter, Damon) and a few passable ones (Sabathia, Pettitte). They need to play better if they're going to win, and break this nine-year stretch of choking, misery and missed opportunities.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-74325895575488648952009-11-02T11:48:00.002-06:002009-11-02T11:55:01.619-06:00A Word, PeterSo Peter Gammons, who used to be a great baseball writer, <a href="http://insider.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=4605500&name=gammons_peter">tells us this</a>:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Jimmy Rollins went on "The Jay Leno Show" and predicted the Phillies will win the World Series. He was made to be a villain in a tabloid front page, and fans chanted obscenities at him Wednesday night. First of all, the old locker-room bulletin-board clichés are just baloney. Rollins brings an attitude and an edge and loves the big stage. And, in so doing, he plays the New York fans and media for fools. It's comical.<br /></span><br />How, exactly, P.G., has Jimmy Rollins played New York fans and media for fools? So anyone who baits someone else needlessly is playing them for a fool? And can you imagine what Gammons would say if Alex Rodriguez made a brash prediction and was getting booed by Philadelphia fans? I bet he wouldn't say, "Rodriguez brings an attitude and an edge," or "he plays the Philadelphia fans for fools."<br /><br />Peter Gammons is an anti-New York homer who sold out the minute he started appearing on television. See that? I just played Peter Gammons for a fool.Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7515999841946054583.post-23134323491731422232009-10-30T09:46:00.006-06:002009-10-30T12:28:11.460-06:00Game 2Joe Girardi: You want answers?<br /><br />Baseball Prospectus reporter: I think I'm entitled to them.<br /><br />Joe Girardi: You want answers?<br /><br />Baseball Prospectus Reporter: I want the truth!<br /><br />Joe Girardi: You can't handle the truth! Son, we play a game that requires baserunners. And those baserunners have to be advanced. Who's gonna do it? You, Joe Sheehan? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for lost outs and you curse smallball. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that losing an out, while tragic, usually leads to runs. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, leads to runs...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at the SABR convention, you want me giving up those outs. You need me giving up those outs<br /><br />We use words like bunt, hit-and-run, productive outs...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very runs I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide them! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and get in the box. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!<br /><br />Baseball Prospectus reporter: Did you order Derek Jeter to bunt?<br /><br />Joe Girardi: I did the job I've been asked to do.<br /><br />Baseball Prospectus Reporter: Did you order Derek Jeter to bunt?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEFcsKM-bvAMhPdOcsTjSJ5TKevM3elhmU5YJuogZQcwtBF6vGqZtxV-EaAIFF9opw_rJIL9I_lxpzHOK43zpL-O8kKPURtcHWV4EUqlKfxZSHJteYNhEYoEfg1-bZssT7YM-qkUspu3KO/s1600-h/A_Few_Good_Men.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 275px; height: 198px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEFcsKM-bvAMhPdOcsTjSJ5TKevM3elhmU5YJuogZQcwtBF6vGqZtxV-EaAIFF9opw_rJIL9I_lxpzHOK43zpL-O8kKPURtcHWV4EUqlKfxZSHJteYNhEYoEfg1-bZssT7YM-qkUspu3KO/s320/A_Few_Good_Men.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398457284770814834" border="0" /></a><br />Joe Girardi: You're goddamn right I did!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8WKLkUq8v_eKsCXJhRJzAPBUSnjmZNl_GQvLIn1KV-VCEJZZcgNOQGdLR8yAQeiHWZggU5q2GPBh-XIXZoFELNRQUvXND4Mk5I8wgnFkgEUK0CPEK531fGH46iOW9WcrGMtgW-Vj5_mpw/s1600-h/nicholson-thumb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8WKLkUq8v_eKsCXJhRJzAPBUSnjmZNl_GQvLIn1KV-VCEJZZcgNOQGdLR8yAQeiHWZggU5q2GPBh-XIXZoFELNRQUvXND4Mk5I8wgnFkgEUK0CPEK531fGH46iOW9WcrGMtgW-Vj5_mpw/s320/nicholson-thumb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398457772401089186" border="0" /></a>Zedd the Mystichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06694516259139833955noreply@blogger.com