Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Wire, Season Five - Sneak Preview

The creators of HBO hit "The Wire" have been keeping a tight lid on the storyline and theme for the upcoming season five, but guesses have run rampant as to which institution David Simon will explore next, following up on the Baltimore police, dockworkers, politicians and education system. A top-secret informer has leaked an initial draft of the first episode of the new season to Pyscho Fan, and I'm incredibly pleased to report that this year's theme, in somewhat of a surprise, is baseball.

Additionally, significant cast changes have been made. A few pages of the leaked script are below:

The Wire - Season Five, Episode One - "The New Game"

"We gonna be runnin' this town for a lot more years, String." --Avon Barksdale


McNulty: Finally, seems like we got ourselves a quiet night in Bal'more, boys. Who's ready to hit the bar?

Daniels: We just got a call in from the Western. Looks like we got a body on one of the Barksdale corners. McNulty, Herc, get on it. Freaman, Prez, see what we can catch on the wire.

McNulty: Fuckin' A. Every time I think we got the Barksdale crew under wraps, they crawl out from under their slimy rocks.

Freamon: It's just like when we thought they were eliminated from the playoffs back in '07, and they somehow backed their way into the Wild Card. Slippery little bastards.

Herc: Let's go bust some fuckin' skulls, show those moops what's what.

Prez: How can I help, sir? (accidentally shoots self through neck; bullet also ricochets through Lt. Daniels and three computers)


Herc: This is some ugly shit right here, McNulty. Why am I always called in on the ugly shit?

McNulty: Jesus H. Christ. (chugs whiskey from flask) This guy was a fat-ass good for nothing, but he didn't deserve to go out like this.

Rod Beck: (lies dead on street)

Herc: We fuckin' know who did this, McNulty. It's Barksdale's crew. Let's crack some skulls.

McNulty: I think you need a warrant for that, genius. Let's see what our CI has to say, since the wire's down now that Prez and Daniels are both dead. Hey Bubs, Bubbles...get over here. What do you know about this Beck thing?

Bubs: I didn't see nuthin', McNutty. I was down in the low-rises, selling some T-shirts, doin' right by myself.

McNulty: Ah, Bubs. You always have to make this hard, don't you? Tell us what you know, and we'll look at getting your sentence reduced for that B&E.

Bubs: Sorry, boss. Not this time.

McNulty: (throws a cumpled-up five-dollar bill at Bubs)

Bubs: OK, here's what I know. It's definitely Barksdale's crew. Payback for something from a-way back. But I heard they used an outside shooter this time. (picks up money; buys drugs; injects drugs)

McNulty: Sorry, Avon. I'm one step ahead of you this time. Nobody knows the streets of Bal'more like I do. (chugs whiskey; cheats on girlfriend)


Bodie: Hey, is the man here? We need a re-up in the towers.

Stringer Bell: You deal with me. Is that problem taken care of? You use who I told you to?

Bodie: Mos def. That nigga done paid the price for his sins.

Stringer: Alright. Be gone, young'in. Be smart out there. Hey, Avon. Avon! It's done.

Avon Barksdale: (looks up from sex with four women) Why you interruptin' me, man?

Stringer: That problem you wanted solved? Shit's done, man.

Avon: Nice. Once a Red Sox, always a Red Sox. You know what I'm sayin'?

Stringer: Mos def. And we got a package comin' in from up New York way from Prop Joe.

Avon: We gonna be runnin' this town for a lot more years, String. Fuckin' Baltimore man...we own this place.

Stringer: Us, man.

Avon: Us. (pounds Stringer's fist) Hey, Prop Joe, in exchange for your help with the package, we'll give you five of our best corners.

Proposition Joe: (picks nose; sucks on peach pit)

Avon: Where we at with my parole hearing, String?

Stringer: Levy's on it, like a good Jew lawyer should be.

Levy: Things are looking good, Mr. Barksdale. We've had a surprise witness testify on your behalf...

The Greek: Let's just say it benefits both of us if you run this town a while longer, Mr. Barksdale.

Stringer: We got it locked up, Avon. And Slim Charles says...aw, fuck. What's this clown doing here? Who let him in?

Ziggy: Hey, you guys. I got a great idea for how to make some money for you guys. You just gotta listen to me.

Stringer: Will someone get him the fuck out of here before....oh, no...

Ziggy: (takes out genitalia; waves it around; giggles)

Avon: The fuck? Will someone please shoot this clown? String, who'd you use on that Beck thing?

Stringer: (strangles Ziggy to death) The last person you'd expect.

Avon: You don't mean...Brother Mouzone?

Stringer: Nah, man, that nigga's out the game. Went all religious and shit.

Brother Mouzone: Will someone please bring me the Koran and my Harper's?

Avon: You're not sayin' you used...

Stringer: That's right, homey.


Omar: (tosses shotgun into harbor)

Brian Roberts as Det. Jimmy McNulty
Miguel Tejada as Lt. Cedric Daniels
Corey Patterson as Det. Roland 'Prez' Pryzbylewski
Melvin Mora as Det. Lester Freamon
Kevin Millar as Det. Thomas 'Herc' Hauk
Derek Jeter as Avon Barksdale
Jorge Posada as Stringer Bell
Robinson Cano as Preston 'Bodie' Broadus
Jason Giambi as Bubbles
Mariano Rivera as Brother Mouzone
Brian Cashman as Maurice Levy
Joe Torre as Proposition Joe
Alex Rodriguez as Ziggy Sobotka
Peter Angelos as "The Greek"
...and featuring Roger Clemens as Omar Little