Last night, the two following conversations occurred between the Yankees' and Cubs' TV broadcasters at approximately the same time. The Yankees' announcers might not be perfect, and Michael Kay is a self-loving douche, but sometimes we need to be thankful for what we have.
Michael Kay: John, you used to catch Randy Johnson. If he had made the trip here, would you have sought him out to say hi?
John Flaherty: No, I don't think that conversation would go quite as well as the one I had with Tony Clark.
Kay: Really? What was your relationship like with Randy?
Flaherty: Well, his mean streak is well known. It was...an interesting relationship.
After giving us this insider's view, Kay then went on to point out that Johnson has the same sweetheart deal that Roger Clemens has, not having to fly to cities in which he's not pitching, without all the media scrutiny and accusations of selfishness.
Then, Kay and Flaherty returned to calling the ballgame, with Flaherty providing impressive insight into how pitchers work certain hitters.
Len Kasper: What are you looking at out there? The bullpen?
American Idol contestant Kellie Pickler (staring through binoculars): What do they call that? The outfield?
Kasper: Yes, that's the outfield.
Pickler: Wow, look at all those people! I can't believe it! I get confused sometimes because in racing they have an infield.
Bob Brenly: They have an infield here too.
Kasper: If you have any questions about anything in baseball, just ask. There's a strike to Pagan.
Kasper: Have you ever heard of a "pickle" in baseball?
Pickler: No, but I bet I'd be good at it! I knew I'd be good at this game.
And that, kids, is not even The Second City's worst broadcast team. Pickler could become a permanent addition to the booth and it still wouldn't even be fucking close.