EXT. - RIGHT FIELD - DAY
BOBBY ABREU stands alone in right field, late in a close game. The crowd is tense and quiet. Bobby is alone with his thoughts. Or so he thinks...
BOBBY
(to himself)
(to himself)
Man, it sure is a beautiful night for baseball. And what a great, exciting game. I really hope there's a fly ball hit my way so I can make a great play and help my beloved New York Yankees win this ballgame.
RIGHT-FIELD WALL
(whispering)
(whispering)
Bobby...
BOBBY
What was that?
(Looks around. Turns to people in the right-field bleachers)
Did one of you guys just say something?
(Shrugs)
Hmm. Must be hearing things. Focus on the game, Bobby you old nutter!
WALL
Bobby Abreu...
BOBBY
Seriously! What the fuck is going on here?
WALL
Bobby. Don't turn around. Don't look at me. Don't come near me.
BOBBY
Shut up, wall! I've got a game to pay attention to over here! Leave me in peace. Go bother Melky.
WALL
Bobby Abreu. I am going to eat you.
BOBBY
What? That's fucking insane, dude. You're just a wall. Inanimate and shit.
WALL
I am going to eat you and then burn everyone you have ever loved in a fire. They won't even be recognizable, Bobby Abreu.
BOBBY
What did I ever do to you? Please, just leave me alone. I'm just trying to do my job out here.
WALL
My teeth are like razors, Bobby Abreu. Did you know that?
BOBBY
Listen, wall. I don't mean you any harm, I just have to come into your general area sometimes to make my trademark "Web Gem" defensive wizardries. I mean you no harm. Leave me be.
WALL
I am going to carve you into tiny pieces before I eat you.
The batter hits a lazy fly ball over Bobby's head, in the vicinity of the right-field wall.
BOBBY
(shrieks and runs toward the infield)
